Tuesdays With My Card-Carrying Gay Buddhist Buddy (Part Two)

If you’re not up to speed on the story of my Buddhist Buddy’s bear-ish balls accidentally dangling in the face of a tiny Japanese man, scroll down.

Today’s post unfortunately will not be about “bare” anything. Nor show a "bare" anything.

Today’s post is about drugs.

But first, I’d like to say that I in no way mean to stereotype Buddhists here. Buddhists are people, too. In fact Buddhists come in all shapes and sizes.

They can be gay Bears like this guy:




They can be gay Twinkies like this guy:




They can be Straight Studs like this guy claims to be:






They can even be Female Cougars like this very attractive and obviously younger-looking-than-her age woman:




This purpose here is not to make fun of Buddhists, even though their orange dresses make them a perfect target. The point here is to share the wonderful stuff I am learning from one particular Buddhist Buddy.

First off, Buddhist Buddy has taught me that we all have a Self-Desirous nature. And he’s not talking about the kind that makes a person blind. 

He’s speaking of the idea that we think about ourselves first and about what we can do to make ourselves happy. Instead of being attached to our desirous nature, he says, we need to feel compassion towards all people.

Yes, even Dick Cheney.

For example, when someone is suffering, we need to feel, and hopefully act in, a compassionate way towards that person. Basically when others feel pain, we should become one with them and feel their pain. Likewise, when others feel joy, we should become one with them and feel their joy.

Having the nature of a Hippie Chick I’m totally digging this line of thought.

I’ve also learned from Buddhist Buddy that life is suffering and the only way to escape from it is to work with one’s own mind.

And though Buddy is a devote Buddhist who takes his practice very seriously, he admits that other things can help with suffering as well.

Yes, Buddhist Buddy is a card-carrying recipient of medical Mary Jane.




He lives in the great state of California, and while they oddly aren’t on board with gays and lesbians getting married and allowing them to be as miserable as the rest of us married folk, they have seen the light of the medicinal wonders of this herb.

I’ve learned that there are clubs dispensaries where one goes to get the herb. Big comfortable sofas, H-D movie screens and of course, all the baked goods one could ever hope for.

Buddhist Buddy, who does indeed have a legit reason for needing this herb, tells me one doesn't have to smoke the herb the old fashioned way, for that would truly be unhealthy. One can simply buy the flour, the cooking oil, and treats such as candy and lollipops:





And even soda drinks--because let's face it, due to the climate there are a lot of dry mouths in California:





The more Buddy described these clubs dispensaries, a idea began to bud in my mind.

Now it’s well known that this Hippie Chick is a Wilcohead—Wilcoheads are the new Deadheads.

In two weeks I will see My Jeff Tweedy of Wilco headline the Ann Arbor Folk Festival.

What, I thought, if there were a way to do something special at the concert so I could feel compassion and oneness with all the suffering people in the economically-depressed state of Michigan. And with all the suffering people in the great state of California (where the increase of reports of nauseousness is now at epidemic proportions)?

And what if I could figure out at way to feel the joy and oneness with all the other Wilcoheads of the World?

And at the same time satisfy my chocolate or sweet tooth?

That would be like, so, groooovy.

Why I could share cannabis brownies or peanut butter cups or flavored lollipops with the whole crowd!!!  It would be like a Hip Halloween Happening.

I could. I could. I think I could.

But no.


I quickly came down to Earth.

My state of Ohio, having always felt compassion towards Dick Cheney, has only just become a blue state. Medical Mary Jane is a ways down the long and winding road.

There are no cannabis treats to be found here.

It seemed if I really wanted to become one and share the joys and pains with others at the concert, it would have to be the old-fashioned way:




But once again I realized my delusion.

Why, you say? I thought you were Hippy Chick Extraordinnaire? Why couldn't you indulge the old-fashioned way?

Yes, of course. Of course. But you see, this:





as some of you know, is the leaf of an Ohio buckeye tree.

Which is the mascot of The Ohio State Buckeyes.

Which are the arch rivals of The University of Michigan Wolverines.

Which is in Ann Arbor.

And even though Ann Arbor is home to the Hash Bash, if this Hippie Chick were to light up a leaf of an Ohio buckeye at the Ann Arbor Folk Festival, she would no longer be a Wilcohead.

She’d be a Deadhead.

And a Deadhead who hadn't yet reached enlightenment at that!



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A special shout out for Muskrat for loaning me his snuggie photo and my Bestest Buddhist Buddy whom I love more than Buddha and JC himself.  John Cusack, that is.



STAY TUNED: Tuesdays With my Other Buddhist Buddy--the Straight One.


There are lots more gays and breeders at Humor-Blogs.