Wednesday, October 8, 2008

What Women Want - A Rap by Meg

Recently I got to thinking...2008 has been a historical year for women in the political race for president and vice president. We've come a long way, baby!

But still, it seems in some arenas women have got a long way to go. After reviewing the 2008 TV season, I experienced a mound of frustration. Thus, I decided to write down a rap. Yes, a rap. I, Meg, am an excellent rapper.

Warning: the following could cause laughter or disgust or neither.

What Women Want

Women’s fight for e-quality
Has come pretty far.
We can get better-paying jobs.
Can drink a-lone in a bar.

We got the right to ed-u-cation, a loan, a bank note
Got the right to smoke in public
The right to cast a vote.

But for true e-qual-ity,
We must continue with the fight
Some things that we need
Are completely out of sight

Let’s all take a moment
To stop and take some stock
'Cause on TV and the movies
It's nothing but a crock.

Guys get their clea-vage on every TV show.
Women’s full frontal nudity on H-BO.
All we get-is Colin Farrell’s chest.
The camera scans to his navel, then stops at the rest.

Guys got Pa-ris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson's tits.
But all we get to see -- the be-hind of Brad Pitt.
We want George Cloo-ney, Mc-Dreamy, Johnny Depp.
Just let see us the parts for which we have wept.

It's just a crock.
No way a shock.
Show us some...thing hot.

This tiny little thing, seems hol-i-er than thou.
In terms of e-qual-i-ty, we women cry foul.
Show us this sa-cred thing. How hard could it be?
It’s what we women want. And our gay bros agree!

We want An-ton-io Banderas, did I mention Johnny Depp?

This see-through double-standard is too hard to accept.
To change to equal treatment, it won’t take no new laws
Just some Hollywood producers who’ve got some bigger BALLS.

It's just a crock.
Undo the lock.
It's what we want.

Tick tock, tick tock...

Posted at Humor-Blogs. I think.


A Free Man said...

Absolute brilliance.

You know, though, we get Paris Hilton and Pammies tits? Really? Because I could do without either. Julianne Moore, Christina Ricci, Jenny Lewis - then we can talk.

Pam said...

Now THAT was enjoyable. How's your aunt by the way. She couldn't complain about any of THESE could she?I'm sure it would be a differet story if one of THESE came out of the rest room with their pants around their ankles!

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

You forgot Kevin Costner's butt...which scarred me for life. Seriously....I thought all men's butts looked like that and never wanted to have sex. Crap. Hope my brother doesn't read this. Brother, I still don't have sex. The child was immaculate conception.! Here!

Good one!

Schmoop said...

You can smoke in public? I thought we both lived in Ohio. I didn't think any of us could smoke in public.

And those pics of the men? So sexist. I am very offended. Cheers, Meg!!

Meg said...

A Free Man - Christina Ricci has t*ts?

Pam - I'm not sure she'd recognize it.

Johny's Mommy - Where did you see Costner's behind? Tell me, I must know.

Unfinished - It was immaculate conception.

Matt-Man - Of course we can smoke in public. Don't you see all those cigarette butts on the sidewalks in front of the bars?

Vodka Mom said...

you rock, baby. you rock.

Unknown said...

Ah, never wrong for gratuitous Johnny Depp pictures... We can count on you, Meg! Have a Depply day. :)

Suzie said...

I think you showed great restraint ryhming

with shock.
and not...well you know

Meg said...

Vodka Mom - Yes, rock and rap--that's me!

Jenn - As you know, I'm all about pirates.

Suzie - Yes. It was hard. No pun intended.

Unfinished - It was immaculate conception.

for a different kind of girl said...


Um, if you get this produced, will you be one of those rap artist who records only if their stuff is "Featuring Jay-Z, T-Pain, Chris Brown, Rhianna, Flo R Ida, etc., on and on, lalala"?

Matt said...

I need to forward this to my wife...great.

Anonymous said...

I can't give you the parts on the men you want to see, but I do have a deck of playing cards, featuring full frontal male nudity of some not so bad looking guys :)

Meg said...

FADKOG - Dang! You just brought to my attention that I have no men of color mentioned in this post. Oh well, no Pamela Anderson either.

Matt - I almost didn't recognize you, Dude. You're looking good. But I still keep imagining Doug as Dustin Hoffman.

JT - Please Forward Immediately.

Anonymous said...

Off-topic: So my sister's birth was an immaculate conception. Thanks. I shudder (shudder) to think about it.

On-topic: My wife will like this post too, especially Colin Farrell. Me? Not really into that. But that naked hitchhiker pic was all right the other day. ;) I like how you try to reach all sides of your audience. Now what about the hermaphrodites in your audience? :)

MsPicketToYou said...


Think sexually, act textually.

Meg said...

Unfinished & Ms. Picket - You guys are missing the boat. This rap is about a double standard.

Deb said...

Can I get this on ITunes?

Unknown said...

Looking forward to the video! Don't forget the right gang signs and the bling.

Oh, and the gigantic suspension bounces (what is it you call them?)

Anonymous said...

Hahah....all we need for ultimate liberation is porn? I like it.

April said...

I couldn't agree more!

Anonymous said...

What? You left out Colin Firth????

Sandra in the ATL and you can't call yourself a rapper if you don't know what The ATL is.

Anonymous said...

Oh and dont forget Gerald Butler MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMm