Monday, October 13, 2008

Lessons Teen Learned From Drivers' Ed

1. Know your place in the world. Otherwise your driving instructor will show up 25 minutes late and blame you for not drawing a decent map to your house.

2. Find your voice, or in this case, your horn. Especially when another car starts to back into you in the convenience store parking lot as your late instructor is grabbing a 24 ounce coffee.

3. Value education. It can lead to job with sick day benefits, unlike the job of your late caffeine-addicted driving instructor who is forced to work with a wicked head cold and doesn't hold back on incessant complaining (about the job and the cold) as you negotiate rush hour traffic. For the first time.

4. Use your consumer powers wisely. Dipping your own chocolate bar in a plastic jar of peanut butter from home, while you direct a student driver through rush hour traffic FOR THE FIRST TIME, is more economical than buying Reeses Peanut Butter Cups.



5. Multi-Task. Picking up the next student 20 minutes early after you and your late, stuffed up, over-caffeinated, Hershey's Bar-dipping instructor make your way through an intersection where an SUV runs a red light forcing you to find your brake and horn, IS an effective way to get back on task in your crappy, low-paying job.

6. Share.  Unlike your disgruntled driving teacher who eats the chocolate and peanut butter in front of you and student driver #2 as he brakes and honks his way through rush hour. 

Apparently not realizing how hungry you are. 

Or how much you love chocolate. 

Or how chocolate would make a perfect treat for a teen-driver to take home to an anxiety-ridden mom.

Who really loves chocolate.

And needs it.

Now.









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10 comments:

April said...

Sorry, but I'm not laughing this time. I'm too pissed at that "instructor."

Chris Wood said...

Ok, that driving instructor is a bell end. End of story.

for a different kind of girl said...

Seriously?! That is an automatic "pass" on the whole driving thing!

Ms Picket To You said...

my driving instructor smelled like ten day old fish and SCREAMED at me for not using the mirrors enough. my hands were shaking by the end and i vowed him to drive him over the minute they snapped the picture.

For Myself said...

Who ARE these driving instructors and from under which rock did they crawl? I still have nightmares about mine. But this guy wins. Ewww...

JT said...

What a d*ck! Seriously, he needed to get chewed out about his career choices since he obviously didn't give a crap about what he was doing.
My girl is going to driver's ed through the school. One of the possible credit classes they can take, I am so not teaching her! I have to many memories of how my mom sat right behind me so "she could watch the heat gauge" in a car that never over-heated. Besides making me a nervous wreck, I was constantly tormented by how she noticed every time I got within 5 miles of actually making the speed limit, and would start hyperventilating!

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

April - See why I needed that chocolate!

Chris - That's a nice way to put it. What the hell is a 'bell'??????

FADKOG - I'm not sure I'm willing to go that far. I'm OK if Teen doesn't pass until he's 21.

Ms. Picket - Yes. One wonders where these people are recruited.

For Myself - This guy was a female dude.

JT - I'm hoping a lesson about studying hard, going to college and getting a degree towards a career will sink in now.

Manager Mom said...

Crikey. What an ass.

Word on the power of education..my biggest goal for mine own Spawn is that they not only have jobs with sick day benefits, but jobs that do not require the wearing of a uniform, a name tag, or the title of "cast member".

Sorry, been at Disney for too long.

ThriftShopRomantic said...

Geez- chock full of professionalism, eh?

For me, my driving instructor was delightful-- especially considering my mom was about trying to claw her way out of the roof when she first attempted to teach me to drive.

Doug at Taunt Vortex said...

My basic memories of high school drivers's ed : One male instructor (Mr. K) and three male students, in one red Monte Carlo.

One day, driving through the neighborhood near the school, we happened upon a MILFish woman mowing the yard in her bikini. Mr. K instructed the student driver to drive around the block - 3 or 4 times - which he did, much to the delight of everyone in the car.