Monday, September 1, 2008

Barack Obama and John Lennon Together

Answer that age old question:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialouge with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. Every chicken in this country deserves the chance to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook...

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

MEG: I don't know. But if there are movie stars and beer on the other side, I am so crossing that road, too.

Is there one you can add?


In the interest of full disclosure I would love to attribute the above to its original author. But it seems that riddle maker-ups have not yet learned how to copyright their material. Like all good plagiarists, I did tweak it a bit. Anyway, thanks anonymous. Some of you rock.

And thanks to Andrea of Toronto--spouse of Chauffeur Guy for passing it along. Andrea, I will see you at the Toronto International Film Festival.

If you'd like to join us, email me at:

For more chicken jokes and Nanny Goats, check out Humor-Blogs. And come back here at about 4pm and CLICK and VOTE for this post.

Note: this post included both black and white photos.


Alice said...

Was that you on the right with Alice Cooper? Were you the Breck girl?

I also need the WTF? stamp. Would high-schoolers appreciate that if I put it at the top of their homework?

Now go cross the road little chicken. ; )

April said...

I think Cheney's response is my favorite.

Meg said...

Alice - Yes, that's me on right with with the other Alice. When I say I stalk, I stalk.

Of course, I made my mom go up to him and ask for his permission to get a photo with him.

Everyone seems to want the WTF stamp. As far as I can tell they only exist in the photo. Which gives me an idea.

April - I like Einstein's myself.

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Oprah: And once that chicken MAKES it, we'll have a free chicken for everyone in our studio audience!

I've seen this chicken thing before, but I love it. Sorry we missed each other yesterday - I've been very disorganized. I'll write today or tomorrow. I suck.

Immoral Matriarch said...

LOL! The chicken crossed the playground to get to the other slide.

My 4 year old taught me that one. :)

Lilacspecs said...

I get your posts via email and I forwarded this to like 5 people. It had me gut bust-style laughing out loud.

Meg said...

Jen - A chicken in every pot. Good one.

Maria - But was the other side any cleaner? And was the Candyman there?

Lilac - Thanks. Like I've said, all my best stuff is stolen.

Chat Blanc said...

I hadn't seen this before, thanks for sharing it!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

dang. I wish I could join you at the film festival!

And thanks for the linky love!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the chuckle.

Chris Wood said...

That was a bloody good post! Shame you didn't include Reagan or Nixon ...

Suzie said...


JD at I Do Things said...

HA! Like April, Cheney's answer rocks (and also sounds the most authentic).

But . . . GAH! That photo of Hillary. I've seen it before, but, you're never really prepared.

JD at I Do Things

Anndi said...

If a chicken crosses the road but nobody sees it does it really... wait, what was the question?

Meg said...

Chat Blanc, Nanny, Paper Cages -- Thanks. That's my job.

Chris - Nixon: Let me make one thing perfectly clear...I am not a quitter. And that chicken is not a quitter either.

Reagan: The chicken is not a chicken. He's a Freedom Fighter.

JD - Yeah. She kind of looks like that girl with Alice Cooper.

Anndi - No.

Jen said...

Love the chicken jokes. Can I just tell you how much I would LOVE to join you on your stalking expedition. Sadly, I'm out of funds and babysitters, so I'll just have to live vicariously through your reports. I will be stalking your blog for updates. And if you happen to see my favorite Canadian hottie, just don't even tell me. I won't be able to take it.