Showers, Beer, and Social Networking--Oh, My

In my fantasy life, I dream of having just one normal day.  Just one.

While I was in the shower yesterday, reaching for the shampoo I saw this: 

Being a parent of two college-aged kids, I found this inappropriate on more than one level.  First, Yuengling is a crappy beer.  As an IPA Enthusiast, I thought my kids knew better.  Second, glass in the shower, not so smart.

So then I did what any normal mom would do in this situation:  I snapped a photo and posted it on Facebook.

When Older Son was in the kitchen making his morning coffee (at 1:30 pm), he told me to remove the photo from Facebook.  

Me:  Sorry.  I have the right to freedom of speech.

Him:  Freedom of speech is a privilege. Take it off. It’s embarrassing.

Me:  Sorry. It’s a right for the woman who pushed you through her body.   I mean, think of shitting out a bowling ball. 

Him:  (looking at me, sadly)  This conversation reminds me of a scene in a movie that’s trying to show just how crazy the mom is. 

Me:  Point taken.  But  it was like pushing out a 10 pound bowling ball! That means I’ve earned some rights and privileges in this family.

Him:  (looking at me, sadly).

Thinking Outside The Six Pack

My previous post included my persuasive arguments for Teen Son on driving and drinking. Seems now I need to talk to Teen Daughter.

I had a few drinks at a party the other night and asked a friend to take me home. Daughter wanted to know why I didn't drive myself home.

"Because I don't drink and drive," I told her.

"Mom," she said, put off. "You don't have to do that. You just put down the drink and then keep both hands on the steering wheel."

Why didn't I think of that?

posted at Humor-Blogs

Transformation? Sign Me Up!!!

Dear Challenge Day Organizers,

Your upcoming workshop for Freshman sounds great.  What could be better than promoting healthy peer relations?  And your trust-building activities that give students a unique opportunity to see themselves and the people around them through a new set of eyes, WOW! Of special interest to me is your vision that every child lives in a world where they feel safe, loved and celebrated. 

And I love the fact that you provide them with tools and alternatives for the healthy self expression while also being challenged to let go of self limiting thoughts, beliefs, and/or emotions.

To think that your expensive award-winning program has helped to transforms the lives of hundreds of thousands of teenagers...I just have one question for you.  Why don't you offer this to the people who really need it?   

Married Couples?

posted at Humor-Blogs

Texting, Teens, and Garbage

Does anyone else….


…open the jelly jar and find a wad of peanut butter in it?

…find it odd that according to spell check, peanut butter is two words?

…secretly throw away a soiled clothing item rather than attempt to clean it?

…wonder why Hi and Lois is still in existence?

…have kids who text message from upstairs to ask you a question when you’re downstairs?

…stupidly text back?

Here, in revised format, are my most recent text replies:

To my youngest son -- No, honey, you can’t watch Degrassi 101. Those teen soaps where the kids do drugs, get pregnant, and discover they’re gay are not appropriate for a ten- year old. By the way, is Degrassi on the Nick Toons channel or the N?

To my 12-year old daughter -- Sorry, sweety. I can’t take you to Sephora at the Mall. Remember we were there yesterday and I spent $134.09 at Aeropostale on what, in my day we called underwear. And anyway, when did you stop shopping at Build-A-Bear?

To my 15 1/2-year old -- Darling, I love you. But I can’t take you driving. When you backed out of the driveway yesterday and almost hit that tree, it took more years off my life than when you recently screamed, “why can’t you be like other moms,” after I forgot to order a corsage for the girl you took to the dance.

To my Spousal Unit -- No, I did not get the oil changed. I was too busy ordering kitschy birthday gifts for myself, as there were no gifts, no cake, not even Ben & Jerry’s for me on my special day. And, if you ever ignore my birthday again, I WILL SPLASH YOUR MISDEED ON MY BLOG FOR EVERYONE TO SEE.

p.s. don’t forget tomorrow is garbage day.


And speaking of texting...

the big news here on the Ohio/Michigan border is Detroit Mayor Kilpatrick's text messaging scandal. I'm so glad he's finally admitted his guilt. Check him out on You Tube