A Only kids whose moms blog.
Q Why is the silverware always in the caddy on the sink board and not in the drawer?
A I’m German, and it’s efficient.
Q I’ve been wearing my sneakers without socks lately. Does it really take three days to do the laundry?
A Dude, they’re in the dryer?
Q Why do you use your bare hand to sweep the ants from the kitchen counter onto the floor instead of a serviette?
A It’s called a napkin.
Q …instead of a napkin. Wait…isn’t that what women use for…
A No. That’s sanitary napkin.
Q You mean there are napkins that are unsanitary?
A Yes. I mean, No. What was your question?
Q The ants, with your bare hand?
A E-ffic-ient.
Q But why do you yell “DIE, ANT, DIE” when you do it?
A Dude, you weren’t listening carefully. I yell, “DIE, ANT, DIE, I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE THE CHUCK NORRIS OF THE ANNOYING CREATURE WORLD AND CAN CARRY 86 TIMES YOUR BODY WEIGHT.”
Q OK. Concerning napkins. Do all Americans use them in their coffee makers?
A Only the ones who forget to buy coffee liners and paper towels.
Q Do you really mean only the ones who blog?
A Now you’re catching on.
Q On a different topic, is it permitted to sneak bottled beer into blues festivals like you did the other day?
A Sacha, such an imagination.
Q It is typical for Americans to begin drinking at 4 pm?
A Like I told you many times, It’s 5 pm somewhere (and he’s supposedly a student with international experience).
Q Why do you keep turning that ceramic vase on your kitchen counter every night?
A Sassy Sally obviously can’t sleep with her clothes on.
Q What does OMFG stand for and why are your kids always saying it?
A I’ll go check on those socks for you now.
p.s. Does anyone know of ant houses that really work?
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