Meg's Top Ten Bloggy Crushes

I could do movies, I could do albums, I could do the top ten John Cusack quotes.  

But instead I did crushes. 

'Cause a blogger that prefers her fantasy life has lots of them.  

So just what qualifies one for Meg's bloggy crushes you say? Without getting too many Pretty Brides pissed off at me, all I'll say is that to make the list, you have to be a blogger with whom I'd like to spend the night with...

at an Irish Pub.  

Here they are in no particular order:

Brett Diggs was my first bloggy crush ever. He’s witty, he’s weird and when I found out he does charitable work, it was a done deal. And really, how many people can look that good upside down?



Muskrat – When I first started reading him I had one thought: too conservative. But then I saw that picture of him pissing on an IRS building and my inner rebel was instantly turned on.  I'm just trying not to let his new name "Father Muskrat" get in the way of my fantasies.




A Free Man – You know how they say women are attracted to men they see with babies at parks and other public places? Well, this guy posts pics of his beautiful son on his blog, and then every once in a while, you catch a glimpse of him in the pics and realize how attractive he is as well. But come on. Am I that shallow? 

Yes, but I still dig his love of indie music. For me that’s everything.

Heinous – His cowboy hat and soul patch make me melt. And the fact that he sometimes gives the finger to his out-of-control neighbors, well, I likes me a guy with chutzpah.

Doug at Taunt Vortex – The guy is so together, so nice, so solid, so reliable. Usually the type of blogger that drives me to read Boing Boing. But I think it has to do with the fact that he can write about selling his house or a plumbing problem and make it work. That’s what they call inner…something or another.

Chris Wood – He’s quite the polar opposite of Doug--but in a good way. You see, he’s a Brit. And because he’s a Brit, he has an accent. And an accent automatically qualifies one for Meg’s crushes. But more than that, the guy is dashing and thrilling and irreverent. Best of all, he has drinking contests with himself. And you know how I like my guys hoppy.

For a Different Kind of Girl – It’s hard to tell, but FADKOG looks like a sexy redhead. But what really gets to me her inner 13-year old boy named Seth who blurts out inappropriate things. I got me one of those, too. His name is Norm.




Immoral Matriarch – In addition to her luscious lips, this girl tells it like it is. Straight. No apologies. She’s the blogger I want to be when I grow up.

The Dude Formerly Known As Unfinished Ramblings – Unfinished Dude first contacted me many months ago with a suggestion on how to get my feed to work better. His advice didn’t work, which was lucky for him because he ended up beating the peace patches off me in the ratings--but he totally deserves it. He’s one funny, kind-hearted guy who has great taste in music and film. And the fact that he plays fantasy football mans him up just right.

Matt-Man – He smokes. He drinks. He wears an earring. He talks about his girlfriend’s monthly cycles and the size of his…. for lack of a better word, penis. All of these appeal to my inner 13-year, Norm. But the guy also has a solid knowledge of history and current events. This of course appeals to the peace patch-wearing part of me. 




VE – Several years ago when I was in between relationships the top criterion on my list was that the guy in my future have a sense of silly. This guy has a sense of silly. No one can write a commercial or Deck The Halls With Poison Ivy parody like he can. And though I can't get a close enough look at his picture here, I suspect that he’s got other attributes as well.




But what about Diesel you say?  

Yes, Diesel's funny; he's irreverent; he has an inner 13-year old living inside of him.  Yes, yes, I know.  But Diesel's blog has been nominated for best humor blog in the 2008 Weblog awards. He doesn't need anymore stokes at this time. What he does need are votes.  So cast yours for Mattress Police here.  You can vote daily.

You can find many of these fine bloggers at Humor-Blogs.


btw, if you're wondering why I have 11 on my top ten list, it's because top ten lists are so lame ( told you, that 13-year boy gets loose a lot).

The Twitter Takeover?

There's been a few articles lately on how Twitter is the new blogger. Twitter is fast. Twitter is short. Twitter is immediate.

Now, I like those "Does anyone know how late Taco Bell stays open?" tweets as much as the next guy. But do we really need more immediate gratification in the culture?

I think not.

No, we bloggers aren't quite ready to hit the delete button just yet. 

'Cause let's face it, there are so many things you just can't do on Twitter. I mean, can you win stuff like this from I Do Things So You Don't Have To:



How cool is that? Thanks JD!

Or

Can you get the Oh The Joys / Chicky, Chicky Baby ROFL Award from Twitter? Sure, you can write ROFL on Twitter. You can write ROFL 35 times with no spaces on Twitter. But display the graphics? I think not.



Thanks Tiny Mantras!

Or how about this one from Debbie of Debbie Does Drivel?




Is there a Kreativ Tweet Award? I think not. Because really, how Kreativ is it to tweet, "I need a martini and I need one now!"

Best of all, because we bloggers are not limited to 140 spaces we can pass on our coveted awards to other bloggers. 

That's right. We bloggers have an established culture of tradition. And in that tradition I pass on this award to the following:


--Unfinished Dude of Unfinished Rambler With No S because, well, it's my custom to present him with awards.

--Sarah of Pull The Plug because she's one funny girl who puts up with a lot of shite. Literally.

--Vodka Mom because she's one funny (and sometimes thoughtful) girl who puts up with a lot of poop and poopy talk from her students.

--Matt at That Tears It because he scrivels good, or well I should say, and because he looks like My Zach Braff.

--April of It's All About Balance because she hosts the Blog Blasts for Education, which is something that the likes of Twitter has never seen.

Prizes, awards, linky love? I think I'll stick with blogging. Plus there are all those smiley faces on Humor-Blogs.

And I like me some smileys.

Not Quite Hot Enough?

This past summer while with my family at Universal Studios, I was interviewed by the Tonight Show staff and told I looked like Susan Sarandon.

WTF? I thought. She's older than I am.



And then I said it out loud.

"WTF?" I said. "She's older than I am."

Well, ever since I've been scouring the pages of InStyle Magazine to see if someone in my age group can wear skinny jeans and embellished tops.

Some people call it a midlife crisis.

I say that it's SIC--Sexual Identity Crisis. I mean, you spend your life being an object of desire and then one day you walk by that construction site and it's silent.

No whistles. Nada.

So you can imagine my elation when me, Meg, the Susan Sarandon look-alike, made the Not Quite Hot Enough Calendar

That's right. Sue and McMommy who didn't make the Hot Blogger Calendar put together this one:



Best of all, I'm in good, hot company. Check it out and you'll find:

Sue at Happy Meals and Happy Hour



McMommy



Jen from Cheaper Than Therapy




The Dad Jam




Obviously they all seem a bit younger than me. But I'm honored.

I know that it's not long before I head down the same road as that of my closest friend--OK, I've got some time, but she recently decided to have a facelift for her 50th birthday.

She spent $15,000 and felt pretty good about the results. Actually, elated. In fact, on her way home, she stopped at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she said to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?'

'About 32,' he replied.

'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' she said happily.

A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replied, 'I'd guess about 29.' My friend replied with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'

She was feeling really good about herself. I mean, really, really good. She stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk this burning question. The clerk responded, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'

Again she proudly responded, 'I'm 50, but thank you!' Then she called me on the cell to gloat.

And while waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man next to her the same question.

He replied, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'

They waited in silence on the empty street until her curiosity got the best of her. She finally blurted out, 'What the hell, go ahead.' Yep. That would be a friend of mine.

He slipped both of his hands under her blouse and began to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighed each breast, she told me and he gently pinched each nipple. He pushed her breasts together and rubbed them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she said, 'Okay, okay....How old am I?'

He completed one last squeeze of her breasts, removed his hands, and said, 'Madam, you are 50.'

Stunned and amazed, my friend said, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'

The old man said, 'Promise you won't get mad?'

'I promise I won't' she said.

'I was behind you at McDonalds.'



AND SPEAKING OF HOT, CHECK OUT THIS JON STEWART CLIP ON PALIN AND THE GENDER CARD.


If you'd like to give a not quite hot enough blogger a smiley, visitHumor-Blogs.