Monday, March 30, 2009

Why I Prefer My Fantasy Life #348

Because in my fantasy life I have a housekeeper,

which I so obviously need

according to my teenaged-son.

"Mom," he says to me, inspecting the vegetable drawer in the fridge.  "I think you should start taking some of my Adderall."

"Why's that?" I enquire.

"Because it really lets you focus on stuff and then you could see clearly like I do, just how dirty this house is."

Hmm? Adderall?

To lose a few pounds?  

Definitely.

To write that second novel?  

Maybe.

To do housework?

 No way in hell.






Posted at Humor-Blogs.

25 comments:

Jenn Thorson said...

I don't blame ya one bit, Meg. My vacuum cleaner needs to have a sign that reads, "I'd rather be blogging."

Theresa B said...

Wow, sounds like you need to sit down with your son and have that important talk about how women find it sexy when men do housework. Let him know that every hour he spends cleaning the house is another hour that will be spent in bed.

Yes, it's time to lie...

The Retired One said...

What is he?
A MAN, or something???

Chas said...

Once a month or so I try to "channel Martha Stewart" until I wake up and realize she pays others to scrub her kitchen floor with a toothbrush.
And since my budget does not include fees for "the outside hire of domestic engineering", I anxiously await the day when my boys are old enough for child labor. :)

ReformingGeek said...

If he's noticing it's dirty, he can clean it!

Housework is definitely not high on my priority list. I'll pick up clutter and clean the kitchen but the rest will wait!

IIDLYYCKMA said...

Oh My God - I so needed to laugh this morning -- thank you. As I was cleaning up our house (We had company) my son says "Mom we should have company every day, as you make the house look so nice" And yeah Martha doesn't live here at my house either. As the saying goes -- You won't get Salmonella from our home -- but it's lived in.

Candice said...

Ha! That's great. I might need some Adderall as well, because on any given day, what's in my vegatable drawer is unidentifiable.

TwoBusy said...

Second novel? Crimony.

At some point, I'm really going to have to read through your archives and get all caught up.

Chris Wood said...

Quite right! Chemicals should only be abused for good reasons ;-)

Stickman said...

Damn kids! The always have to point out our flaws. Like they're so perfect. It's time to figure out a way to embarrass the hell out of him.

for a different kind of girl said...

Whoever sees it takes care of it. That's my motto!

Then my motto makes me laugh and laugh because of all the things I've seen around here, I've never seen anyone else live up to that motto!

Sami said...

I'd leave the veggie drawer. It could very well end up containing the cure for cancer.

Jen said...

I tried ADD meds for a few months after being casually diagnosed by a therapist. They really do suppress your appetite but the house didn't get any cleaner. I didn't like the side effects of my heart feeling like it was about to beat out of my chest either.

A Free Man said...

Having been a teenage son, I can tell you that they're really good at pointing out discrepancies but not so great at doing anything about them. Wonderful creatures.

JT said...

Amen. Just.....Amen

Always Home and Uncool said...

Since your some is so focused, I'd hand him a rag and some Pledge.

HappyHourSue said...

Wait, back up: can Adderall make you lose weight? I'm thinking I have focusing issues.

sage said...

Love that sign! Your son is lucky, my mom would have told me to clean out the frig.

Jocelyn said...

This is why you're so likable: your priorities are in order.

musing said...

I am right there with you! We should start a society called the AHAAC. Avoiding Housework At All Costs.

Anonymous said...

hey baby, can we meet at the ot or the idiot

Anonymous said...

Oh how I thrive on sarcasm! Love your blog!

I have to get that sign! I have two in that same genre:

1. On the outside of my house by the front door:

"I cleaned my house yesterday . . . wish you could have seen it."

2. Hanging in my kitchen:

"God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I'm so far behind that I'll never die."

Angela said...

Ok, so I'm the anonymous idiot directly above this comment.

My damn fingernail hit the 'Enter' key while I was filling in my name/website.

DUH! So here we go again . . .

The Vengeance said...

HA! Hilarious, I love it! Way to prioritize! I'll be reading along, cause a blog that makes me laugh is ALWAYS worth reading. Thanks! ^_^

http://iamthevengeance.blogspot.com

kristi said...

LOL, I agree with Theresa B. Nothing makes me want to give a b.j. than watching my hubs clean.

That is why he only gets them like 2 times a year.