Monday, January 5, 2009

My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad New Year's Revelation

Checking out my stats the other day I was delighted to see that people are actually reading this blog.   So I did my Hippie Happy Dance--think Martha Graham to a feedback-y Wilco song.

But upon closer inspection I found out that many of them simply landed here by typing keywords into Google.  

Here's the key words that got people to my fantasy life:

Psycho women pussy good

Couch surfing sexy Susie

Susan Sarandon hot You Tube

Biggest teen mammaries

Mommy mammaries

Cut her mammaries

Breastfeeding nursing fantasies

Best teen celeb cleavage

Skinny dip

I love daddy fantasy

Biggest communes in the US

Virgin looses her cherry

Fantasy eat semen  

For the record I have never blogged about semen. I only mentioned semen in passing because that's what Chris Wood got Diesel for Christmas.  The other stuff--sex, mammaries, communes, Susan Sarandon, couch surfing--guilty as charged.

Yet I am nothing if not an introspective blogger, so when I took those and other key words such as beer, Xanax, Vicodin, and Jeff Tweedy lyrics into account, I had a realization.

And it's not pretty.

All this time I thought I was just a Hip Mommy Blogger.  


Turns out my whole blog is about Sex and Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll!

Please Help.


Stay tuned for more S & D & R & R when I reveal my top ten bloggy crushes.

posted at Humor-Blogs.


Anonymous said...

I don't even know HOW to check my google stats. All I go by is my counter, and I think that half of those numbers represent ME checking my blog 60 times a day to see if anyone was there.

Muse said...

Don't feel bad. I regularly post keywords that landed people on my page. Without a doubt the top is always "Scaly eyelids"

But right now i'm finding much amusement in how the person who typed in "You have a tiny marshmallow head" found their way to my blog ;-)

CableGirl said...

Man, you need to diversify. Throw 'em off with some out-there post titles. So far your google search hits all seem to be breast-centric. lol

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Dana - Don't bother with stats. Unless you want to know stuff like the average time a reader spends on your page is 3 seconds. It's depressing.

Muse - The thing is--they're right on target. And btw, I think your lashes are lovely.

CableGirl - Seems like it's time again for me to show some cleavage, don't ya think?

the human said...

I'm surprised 'hippie chick' didn't come up on that list. oh well, keep trying.

Suzie said...

You gotta respect a good post about seamen

Jeff said...

I've never been more turned on by a blog.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Yeah, there's nothing like a little web traffic stat analyzer to tell you the painful truth about yourself. Between your "Fantasy" and my "Panties" as blog titles, we pretty much have the whole porn searches covered, so ... kudos to us!!!!

VE said...

Yeah...that's why I never look at my reader stats and prefer to stick with my comment stats instead. I've actually made fun of songs from the 70s and had the writer of the song find my blog and comment on it. Weird.

April said...

Well, duh, we knew that! Why do you think we come here?!?

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Human - I think people who want Hippie Chicks just type in Joni Mitchell.

Suzie - Yes, but this is a family blog.

VE - Being a Hippie Chick I would NEVER make fun of songs from the 60s.

April - Ah, thanks.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Jeff - Hope you weren't reading it at a Starbucks or some other public place.

A Free Man said...

I thought that my blog was pretty cutting edge and exciting, but the most interesting recent google search was "worlds longest time spent in waffle house". Yawn.

Sue said...

OMG! A blog about Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll. Am I falling in with the wrong crowd.......again?

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

A Free Man - It's those cute baby pictures you post that keep you on the straight and narrow.

Sue - You're in with IN crowd, baby!

Father Muskrat said...

Awesome! I hope I'm in the Top 10 but sorta doubt it. I've let myself go lately.

I miss the filthy, filthy searches the last month since I moved URLs. Google hasn't found me quite yet. I used to get a lot of "boner" searches, and I miss them terribly.

Anonymous said...

Hi. I'm new. Just found you by googling "sex filth hooters drugs boner lick." Just the usual. Will stay with this great blog.


Laura said...

Is this kind of like the counter that tells you if your blog is at the GENIUS level or the PRE-SCHOOL level. I see nothing to be ashamed of with your designation as rocker chick blog.