Tuesday, July 22, 2008

When It Comes to French, I Rock!

In my fantasy life, my French is perfect. In real life, as I’ve mentioned, my French consists of speaking English with a Pepe Le Pew accent. In truth, I don’t need to speak French at all. That’s because I’m a MEESL teacher (Most Excellent English as a Second Language teacher). Having taught both here and abroad, I’m well versed in the ways of communicating with foreigners.

The other day, our family and Sacha were invited over to a friend’s house. We walked up the drive way and saw that our host, Slovenian Irish Dance American History Teacher Guy, was grilling something in his big green ceramic egg (whose sheer size I think is intended to compensate for something else, but never mind).

Host Showing Off His French And His Grill: Oeuf!

Sacha: eyebrows furrowed

Host Trying a Different Pronunciation: Ooolf!

My Ebayer in Solidarity: Ooolf!

Sacha: Ooolf?

Professional MEESL Teacher Showing Them How It's Done: Egg! I begin flapping my elbows and clucking.

Sacha: Chicken?

Professional MEESL Teacher and Thespian Extraordinaire: E-gggg! I flap my elbows again, cluck and then cradle my arms.

Sacha: Baby Chicken?

Host Who Doesn't Know When To Quit: Uulf!

My Ebayer in Solidarity: Uulf!

Sacha: Uulf?

Professional MEESL Teacher Who Feels Victory Around the Corner: E-e-gggaa! I flap my elbows, cluck, cradle my arms, put my left leg in, take my left leg out....then I curl my hands in an oval shape and pantomime cracking it open and stirring. E-G-G. Omelette. Egg!

Sacha: Ah, yes. “If”.

Professional and Gloating MEESL Teacher: Yes! Egg!

Host: olf!

Sacha: No “If”.

EBayer: uulf?

Sacha: No, "If".

Host: "F"?

Thirsty MEESL Teacher Putting Imaginary Bottle To Mouth And Chugging: Excuse me, I''l be back.

Speaking of failed outings, Nanny Goats suggested we take Sacha to Dave and Busters, which I thought was brilliant. Only we don’t have one here. So I took Sacha to a blues festival instead. Do you think he minded sitting outside in the rain?

If you like the blues, vote for this post at Humor-Blogs.


Jean Knee said...

I love the blues. bummer about the rain.
here's to ifs and bacon for breakfast

ksd said...

Your French exchange student looks like he's having the time of his life! A little rain never hurt anybody.

Diesel said...

You'd better get over my place quick if you want one of my books...

Rickey Henderson said...

Nice work taking an exchange student under your wing.

...dead tongue be damned, in his mind, Rickey speaks excellent Latin.

Arpeggio Andy said...

Wow! Your friend has one of those big green egg grills. I always wondered if they are as great as the website says.

As a MEESL, do you also speak louder when "translating" english to a foreigner.

Meg said...

Jean - Yep. We saw Shirley King, BB's daughter. She's a B class singer and an A class entertainer.

Ksd - A little rain, a 92 degree day, a nuclear power plant on the lake shore--this is the real America!

Diesel - Will trade earrings for book.

Ricky - I'm transferring him to the wing of Classic Rock Teen who's taking Sacha to the mall to buy Suburban Gangsta clothes.

Andy - They go great with beer.

Lilacspecs said...

Why are you not showing up in my Google Reader anymore??

Bex said...

Whew! For a second there I was holding my breath for fear that you were going to pantomime something exiting your chloaca.

I can hear him now when he gets back to France, "Oui, oui, Les Americaines sont tres, tres, bizarre!"

It's really cool that you have an exchange student. I have foreign relatives shacked up at my place right now. Does that count?? 3 Russians, to be precise. They are here for about 5 months so one of them can hatch her own egg (happened 2 weeks ago). But I'll tell you - it's worth it for the borscht alone!

Anonymous said...

As an Officially Bilingual Eastern Canadian Person, I find this all highly suspect.

Can't everyone speak French?

Meg said...

Lilacspecs: Seems like I lost half of my subscribers somehow and I'm having issues at Humor-Blogs as well. I blame Diesel.

Bex: And the vodka?

Sinister Dan: Here it's American and Canadian, and when we're drunk, we slip into Urban Gangsta.

Randall said...

He looks interested to me.

Diesel said...

What's this about me not liking you? What's not to like?

www.restlesshousewife.com said...

Wow - you have an exchange student?! You're too cool!!

Just FYI, I linked to you on my last post!

sista #2 said...

Oh, I am real good at french.
French fries, french toast, french manicure.

poor sacha...is he drinking yet?


Meg said...

Randall - He's waiting for me to go to the bathroom so he can take out his phone and play games.

Diesel - Ok Dude. First you don't like me, now you're stalking me.

Restless Housewife - You are my new BFF!

Sista #2 - He would drink, but he's on a diet. Truly.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Was it a Faberge BBQ?

I was not aware of Shirley King. I'll have to remember that.

Thanks for the linky love! You are awesome! MWAHH!!

Manager Mom said...

Is that a grill, or an emergency spaceship pod capsule? Egads.

Immoral Matriarch said...

I want an exchange student!