Saturday, July 5, 2008

In Which I Stalk Close to Home

I wear black of course. It’s youthful. It’s thinning. It’s dark. I walk towards the club slowly contemplating my move. I stop in my tracks, there he is. Him. There. Sitting on a stool on the sidewalk. This guy:

If you are one of my three faithful readers you’ll remember Hamell on Trial. He's the original irreverent, crude, political, whimsical, folk-punk guitarist from NY who sleeps in his VW and tours with Ani DiFranco.

I casually introduce myself. We begin to chat. Then the unthinkable: Roadie Dude approaches and asks Hamell if he needs an ice pack. A trip to Urgent Care. Hmm. Time to go inside.

If this man was feeling his age in any way, you couldn’t tell from his performance. If I was feeling my age in any way—me, old enough to be the parent of everyone in the crowd—you couldn’t tell from my response. Hamell was fabulous.

After the show, I vie for his attention with a few other Hanger On-ers. But Hamell is clearly looking forward to that ice pack. He does, however, say something extremely personal, almost sexy to me.

“I like your bangs. They are very becoming on you.”

He likes my bangs, Internets. Hamell likes my bangs. Of course it occurs to me that Hamell might like anyone's hair since he has none, but nah....HAMELL LIKES MY BANGS!!!!!!

I’m dedicating this Hamell video to my blogger friend, Jim at Framed. Jim does politics, music, Don S. Davis, and humor (or so he thinks). Jim is a faithful reader, although he admits he doesn't like my blog. His wife, Susan, is not a faithful reader, but likes my blog. Both like my bangs.

Warning: this is not for those easily offended. Which obviously doesn't include the folks at Humor-Blogs.

Stay tuned for my post in which I show the bangs.


JFT said...

This is why I have you bookmarked with the pornoblogs on my laptop!

Meg said...

That works for me. Obviously I need all the lovin' I can get!

Alice said...

I'd get bangs like you, but I've been scarred from a Dorothy Hammill haircut in the 7th grade and never looked back.

Meg said...

Alice: The trick is to supplement with lots of slutty makeup.

jt said...

Need a picture with bangs to cast judgment. Although when I gave myself bangs way the hell back when, my X-ass came home and almost had a heart-attack over how many years they took off of my face, so it may have been a sideways comment on that. :)
Either way, sounds like the stalking is going well, wish I had someone (anyone!) to stalk.

Lilacspecs said...

I honestly keep meaning to watch this clip and I'm not having the time...once I do though I'll at least get the significance of the post/bang comment maybe.

Meg said...

JT: I recommend your local video store. Some of those clerks are hot!

Lilacspecs: The only significance to the bang comment is that I'm having a midlife crisis, therefore looking for any compliment I can get.

I suspect most of you didn't watch the video because it's called "ANN COULTER'S SNATCH." It's an extremely crude, funny commentary on the political climate.

ML said...

Well, I don't like Ann Coulter either, but since it's Sunday morning I could only listen to half of it and real low. Had to turn it off before people started asking questions!
I hope to see you with your bangs, but summer plans aren't looking good.

Blitzed and Bipolar said...

Bangs are the shit, I agree.

Oh, and I agree with you about the video store guys. Or check out the stock boys at your local 24 hour supermarket. My friends and I used to stalk this guy with the best mullet ever, just to catch a glimpse of his 80's beauty.

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Congrats on successful stalking! ;-)

JD at I Do Things said...

Oh, that was funny. I've never heard of that guy, so thanks for the very memorable introduction.

How disturbing is it that I KNEW he was going to rhyme "fail ya" with "genitalia"?

I think you should write a similar song about your bangs.

JD at I Do Things

Deb said...

I'm in a bang crisis at the moment, so I'm definitely going to need to see yours in order to figure out how it's done right.

Sully Sullivan said...

Yeah I'm definitely going to need to get a good look at those bangs before I can agree with Hammel.

The Offended Blogger said...

I think I have a crush on Hammill now. You and your bangs just might have some competition! :p

Ms Picket To You said...

i am in serious need of a star sighting. and a haircut. maybe the latter will beget the former.