Saturday, July 12, 2008

In Which I Blog About Beer (T-shirts)

Day three of not blogging about beer (and not blogging about not blogging about beer). Today I will tell a true story. A sad story.

A few years ago my Spousal Unit became enamored with a brass corkscrew that my parents owned. It was a small figure of a boy with the screw part coming out of his di...ding-a-ling (see why I'm so messed up).

When we returned home, Spousal Unit rushed to the computer. Three days later, the very same corkscrew arrived in the mail.

From here on in I shall refer to my Spousal Unit as my Ebayer.

I'd be scooping Hot Wheels out of the toilet when he'd yell from the computer, Hey, did you know there are currently 226,334 t-shirts for sale on eBay?

I'd be scraping Silly Putty from the freezer door when he'd yell, Wow! 'You Gotta Be Shirting Me' is selling shirts starting at 99 cents!

I'd be lecturing the kids about putting socks in the fishbowl (again) when he'd call out, 'Shirts R Us' has a 99.8% positive feedback rating!

Soon shirts began arriving in the mail. And I noticed a theme. The first one is what you call vintage:

The next one came NWT (new with tags):

Then more and more arrived. Here is the requisite polo:

For the Record, I've got nothing against my Ebayer ordering a few shirts from the net. But little by little, I saw it for what it was--a slippery slope. And not one easy to hide from the public.

It began with this shirt which includes a quote by Benjamin Franklin (a quote I couldn't agree more with):

And then this one arrived with another, less literary quote:

And when this shirt arrived, I knew it was time to put my foot down:

I guess those junior high health teachers were right. Beer t-shirts are a gateway clothing to Crack t-shirts.

Help me beat the shirts off of those other guys at Humor-Blogs.

ps Here is the eBay link to get your own brass corkscrew.


Alice said...

I love the liver shirt!

Oh - and you're only ahead because I was having post issues. At least I hope that's the reason why and not because I suck. *gulp* I'll drown my sorrows at poker tonight and think your ratings fondly over a BEER.

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Yeah, the liver shirt is my fave, too. Way too funny!

for a different kind of girl said...

Forget the tshirts a minute! I'm wondering if there's any of those corkscrews still out there in ebayland!

OHmommy said...

I NEED that cork screw, oh my that is genius.

David said...

That corkscrew is spectacular and I must have one. I wonder how I would need to word my ebay search to find one?

Meg said...

Alice: You do not suck. I'm just "that" good!!!!

Jen: I know. Other people's dysfunctions are always funny.

DKG, OHMommy, David: I've just added the link to a similar brass corkscrew on eBay. But be careful. eBayland is a hard place to escape from.

JD at I Do Things said...

HA! That last T-shirt would've been the last straw for me, too.

I remember my early eBay days. For me it was Viewmaster slides. I managed to collect all the ones from my childhood, including the one about dinosaurs my brother and I fought over.

JD at I Do Things

Rph Mommy said...

I just snorted at the liver shirt. Too funny.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

I love how you laid out the timeline in pictures with the slogans getting worse and worse! Doesn't everything seem to lead to crack these days?

Jen said...

That Ben Franklin was a very wise man...I'd never read that quote before.