Dude, Get Off Of My Cloud

Isn’t it enough that Kristi Yamaguchi is a championship skater? Why does she have to steal the title in Dancing with the Stars? I firmly believe the contestants on that show should be limited to the Danny Bonaduces of the world who are trying to rekindle their careers.



And business-tycoon-turned-TV-star Donald Trump? I mean he’s got the hair, the young wife and the Barron. Why does he need the apprentice?

What’s with all the crossover? Singer Jessica Simpson becomes an actor, actor Scarlett Jo Hansson becomes a singer, stand up comic Howie Mandel becomes a game show host, body-builder Arnold Swartzenegger becomes an actor, a Kennedy and now a governor. And all of them, I bet, have authored children’s books.

Here’s what ticks me off the most: the vanity cards of TV producer Chuck Lorre’s (Two and a Half Men). Vanity Cards are quick images flashed at the end of a show typically to identify a show’s creator. Kind of like a trademark or signature.



But that’s not enough for Lorre. For years, he’s been using his vanity cards to express his opinions on Hollywood, network executives and his own family issues.

I mean, folks, isn’t this what we all call BLOGGING?

In one early card, Lorre wrote: “I believe that beer is a gateway drug that leads, inevitably, to vodka.” After an intense consultation with ABC execs, his next card read “I now believe I was very, very, wrong. Beer is good. Especially beer brewed by major manufacturers, and enjoyed in a responsible fashion.”

And the guy’s got a website and a cult following to boot, and I’m sure a children’s book on the way.

I, for one, am opposed to this dude honing in on our territory. If Lorre is bored with producing he should have Kristi teach him to tango and audition for Dancing with the Stars.

We Bloggers must remain the masters of our domain. But still, vanity cards are kind of a cool idea. I mean, if I had do one at the end of this post, it might read something like this:

I believe there are too many mommy bloggers who do scrapbooking, too many humor bloggers who hold caption contests, and too few celebrity bloggers who follow John Cusack. I believe Bossy and I should couch surf our way through an excellent road trip to all of the cities where John Cusack movies were filmed. I believe I love Bossy who loves Dooce who loves all of her scrapbooking, caption contest holding humor bloggers. I believe Diesel should show me some love and comment on my post. I also believe that Jessica Simpson can’t act and that beer is good. But only micro-brew beer, not Bud.

What would your vanity card say?

ps Stayed tuned for my “Name That Doll Caption Contest.”

For more vanity, check out Humor-Blogs. For more Beer, scroll down.