Sarah Palin is VP

Or Vetted Poorly.

It’s difficult to believe that Republicans chose a VP candidate who apparently can’t keep her own house in order, let alone the White House.

Yes, Sarah Palin, McCain’s running mate or running MILF...




announced Monday that her 17-year old daughter has been knocked up. The father is bad boy Hockey Hunk, Levi Johnston, who describes himself on his defunct MySpace as a ‘f-ing redneck’.

F-ing Redneck.

Those might be the most honest words uttered to date in this convention.

Of course Palin will stick by her daughter, who plans to wed Hunk by Christmas. This gives shot-gun wedding a new meaning when it’s the Alaskan Sports Mom Running for VP holding the shotgun.

The Republican spin: "Life happens!"

Yes, life happened to Barack Obama’s mom, too. But at least she wasn’t promoting abstinence in place of a well-protected romp in the snow.

But really, that’s not what bothers me the most about McCain's choice.

No, it’s not the names of Palin's kids: Bristol, Piper, Track, Willow, and Trig—cause it’s about time somebody took the focus off of Moon Unit Zappa.

It’s her inexperience. When vetted by the Republicans, Palin asked what it is exactly that the VP does.

Bill Maher tells it the best:




And if you skipped the video, because you can't wait to vote for this post at Humor-Blogs, here’s Maher's answer to that question:

"They start wars, enrich friends, subvert the constitution and shoot people in the face."

And while you're checking out Humor-Blogs, here's another to visit: Levi Johnston - Go WHS Warriors!

Barack Obama and John Lennon Together

Answer that age old question:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialouge with all the chickens on the other side of the road.




HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. Every chicken in this country deserves the chance to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.



GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.



PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.



ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.



BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook...

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?



MEG: I don't know. But if there are movie stars and beer on the other side, I am so crossing that road, too.


Is there one you can add?

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In the interest of full disclosure I would love to attribute the above to its original author. But it seems that riddle maker-ups have not yet learned how to copyright their material. Like all good plagiarists, I did tweak it a bit. Anyway, thanks anonymous. Some of you rock.

And thanks to Andrea of Toronto--spouse of Chauffeur Guy for passing it along. Andrea, I will see you at the Toronto International Film Festival.



If you'd like to join us, email me at:



For more chicken jokes and Nanny Goats, check out Humor-Blogs. And come back here at about 4pm and CLICK and VOTE for this post.

Note: this post included both black and white photos.