I Blog About Beer (Bottles) So JD Doesn't Have To

Day Four. JD at I Do Things So You Don't Have To does some nice stuff for me. She goes to nude beaches, she buys expensive chocolate, and she gets drunk--all so I don't have to bother (in truth, I have an interest in doing these things myself, but never mind).

Today I am returning the favor. I am blogging about beer (bottles) so JD doesn’t have to.

You see, my eBayer has some…how can I put this delicately…some mistaken notions. He makes a list of things to do and refers to it often so he can scratch off the tasks he’s completed. The list runs from Sunday to Saturday. Not only does it include things to do each day of the week, but it also lists primary goals, such as get a haircut.

I call his list the Billboard Top Ten. Things like play golf are the one hit wonders, making the list one day and quickly crossed out the next. Mow lawn, however, makes his list on Monday and remains on it through the week until he finally bribes the Teen to do on Saturday. Return beer bottles has been on the charts for a solid six months now.

We live near the border of a state that gives back a deposit on bottles. We don’t buy the beer in that state, mind you, but my eBayer figures he can make a few bucks by returning the bottles there. Which...how can I put this delicately...hasn’t happened.

Hence:



and:



and:



and:





Now I personally think having so many empties around sets a bad example for the children. JD, any chance you can return these beer bottles so I don’t have to?

And maybe the rest of you can click Humor-Blogs so I don't have to. This may mean scrolling down, clicking on "more posts" and then scrolling again. But thanks. I'm behind Honey Pie now and it's enough to get me to go back to blogging about...never mind.

Proof My Mind's in Bit of a Blog

It 7:05 Wednesday morning and these people I live with won't leave me alone. I mean, I've got ratings to check.

Husband in the kitchen: Do we have any bread?

Me at computer: Um?

Husband: B-R-E-A-D.

Me: Ah, yah, it’s in the car

Him: Why is it in the car?

Me: I haven’t brought it in yet.

Him: Didn’t you go shopping on Sunday?

I ignore this (and it’s only taken me half of my married life to learn how).

Son: Hey Mom, why don’t we have any ‘good’ cereal?

Me: We do. It’s in the car.

Daughter: Did you pick up that stuff from Michael’s for my class?

Me: It’s in the car.

Other Son: I need deodorant.

Me: In the car.

Husband: Where are your car keys?

Smart Ass kids in unison: In the car!

Me searching the memory bank: Oh crap.


OK, OK so I’m behind on a few things. And I'll go to the recycling station, I will.



As soon as I've got room in the car.

For more Not-So-Wordless-Wednesdays, click here. For more Not-So-Humorless Wednesdays, click here.

Earth Day and Nothing to Wear!

Like all of you, I’m big on Earth Day. I recycle when it’s convenient, I walk to work when it’s not raining or snowing or too hot or too cold or too windy or an allergy day or when I'm not too tired or drunk or PMSed out. And on this special day, I take extra care to wear organic apparel.

So I rifle through my closet, but there's a problem. It dawns on me that my outerwear is made from Teflon. That my innerwear is made from pesticide-laden cotton. And my shoes from dead cow.

OMG! WTF!

The only thing I have that’s natural is my birthday suit. So being big on Earth Day, I guess that'll have to do.

Good news is my accessories are made from recycled materials. And I’m all about coordination. So which one do you think would work best?



The juice box tote?



Or the Cambodian rice bag?

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