Saturday, March 21, 2009

Another Damn Thing To Make Me Feel Old


Tuesday is my birthday. 

And really. I'm trying not to obsess about getting another year older.  At least not all of the time.  

Have you noticed all the lip service these days to making people feel younger? 

30 is the new 20;

40 is the new 30; 

50 is the new Bruce Springsteen.

And really, I do have a young spirt, so sometimes I forget that I'm old.

Like the other night.

I was having a drink with a friend at a long table in a pub.  A few snot-nosed punks, probably with fake ids, asked permission to sit down at our table.

"Sure," I replied.  "As long as you don't mind our bizarre conversation."

"Bizarre?"  Snot-nosed punk exclaimed.  "OMG.  I've never heard anyone else in the world use that term except my mother.  Did you grow up a hippie in the 70s, too?"



Note to self:  Use the term WHACK from now on.



STAY TUNED:  A Birthday, A Blogoversary, and a Breakup


posted at Humor-Blogs.

34 comments:

Bee said...

Birthdays are like men. They're better when you ignore them. You can quote me on that. ;o)

A Free Man said...

Or you could have just given them a whack.

sage said...

How many letters have you received from AARP? When I turned 50 (two years :( ago, January), the invitations to join the old folks lobby started arriving 3-4 months before the day. I've still not joined (heck, after the stock market crash, I may never retire).

Do you have connections with the University of Toledo--I saw the end of their game yesterday, they did good!

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Bee- I'll remember that.

A Free Man - I think that was suggested for the Dude Selling Shirts at the Dublin Pub, as well.

Sage - I went to UT. I live near UT. And that's where my connections end. I'm more of a artsy type. Although I do so enjoy watching those Italian soccer players.

sAm said...

And did you allow the snot nose punk to remain? If so, I hope he got an earfull of truly bizarre convo...personally, I think a hallmark of young punks vs. adults is the ability to use a vocabulary that isn't made up half the time. You're only as old as you feel on your good days!!
And happy birthday in advance!!
teehee...word verification is insolso...that kid was totally insolso!

sAm said...

oh...oh...and please...OMG??? When did we quite using full words and start only speaking in acronyms...wad (what a douche). Did he really think his comment was going to make you lol or gac (go all crazy). imho you are way cooler than him.

The Retired One said...

You may want to rethink that AARP thing...We have used it alot on our recent vacation and saved a TON of money! We still think young and look pretty young, so why not still use it (and laugh all the way to the bank!?)

Jeff said...

I saw Springsteen on Jon Stewart the other night. He was awesome as usual. No, let me rephrase that... he was sick!.

ReformingGeek said...

I like the "whack" idea. See that beer mug imprint on that smart-ass face?

Chris Wood said...

Whack is the new bizarre, sick is the new great, fat is the new good ...

Hell, birthdays are the new "Christ I'm fucking wonderful and kiss my arse if you disagree."

Yep, that covers it ;-)

bernthis said...

That is so bizarre. I use that word all the time but then again I'm again backwards.

Chas said...

I think my body would spontaneously seize if I tried to use the word Whack. Or the person I used it with would be the first person ever to die of "sudden uncontrollable laughter hysteria".

Laura said...

Happy Birthday! I'm flipping a number this week too. I went to a lounge with a friend a few weeks ago and not a single person looked our way. Was it the lack of lycra or the ability to use bizarre in a sentence?

for a different kind of girl said...

I probably would have responded with, "Well, back in my day, we didn't put up with smart alec hooligans like you talking back!"

But then suddenly, I'd have morphed into someone's 80 year old grandma, and I'm having enough issues with 41, thank you very much.


(No lie - or no shit, if you don't mind the cursing moment - my word verification is 'poopi.' That's what those kids (KIDS!) were! Ha!)

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Sam - GAC? Apparently I really do belong with the bizarre set.

Retired One - Who said anything about AARP?

Jeff- Even you are cooler than me. Damn. ;)

R. Geek- Best idea yet!

Chris - OK. Even better idea!!

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Bernthis - I think "bizarre" in still cool in CA.

Chas - Then by all means, use "sick." ;)

FADKOG - Yes, little snot-nose shits.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Laura - Your neck line must have been too high. Don't give up.

Holy Crappers said...

Happy Birthday !!

Anna Lefler said...

Forget using the word whack. I think you should *give* them a good whack.

(But not with your vinyl handbag. 'Cuz that's oldladyish.)

XO

A.

Kevin John said...

As one with kids as you do, it never comes a time when they don't remind you that you're older than dirt.
("You mean you didn't have CELL PHONES back when you were a kid? How did you text??")
Cheer up and have a great birthday Meg! I'll buy you one next time I'm in Ohio!

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Anna - Actually my handbag is made of recycled billboard from Spain--kind of hip for an old lady.

Kevin - When? When? When will you be in Ohio?

unfinishedrambler said...

Hey, I said I'd get over here today. Sorry it took me all day, been out. On topic: So how old are you anyway? ;) You didn't say. A blogoversary? How many years is it now? It seems like you've been here forever (for which I'm thankful, I might hasten to add). Sorry to hear about your breakup, but que sera, sera (and I don't say that flippantly). Onward and upward.

TwoBusy said...

Jack Donaghy: "Rich 50 is middle-class 38 now."

I don't know how that applies here, but I thought I'd chime in anyhow.

Stickman said...

You can't be too old. A true old person would have wet their thumb with their tongue and cleaned the snot off of the punk's nose. Not THAT's kickin' it OLD school.

Nooter said...

for canines its '5 is the new 7' for each human year. happy birthday

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Unfinished Dude - I have been around forever, apparently that's the reason I say "bizarre."

TwoBusy - Good one. I think 60 will actually be cool the day George Clooney hits it.

Stickman - Actually I did do that after I had another shot.

Nooter & Holy Crappers - Thanks. It's me mom's birthday, too as she's the one who did all the work birthing me.

Debbie said...

I had no idea that saying bizarre marked me as old. Of course, I am old. No getting around that.
Happy birthday a day early.

Former Fat Chick said...

*mental note, never EVER use that word AGAIN!

April said...

Happy early bday!
You did smack those kids, right?

Shieldmaiden96 said...

I hate people under thirty in bars.

There, I said it.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Debbie - If you're old, you'll have to write it down.

Former Fat Chick - Thanks. Sure did. Right after I wiped their noses.

Shieldmaiden96 - And you can say it again and again!

Jenn Thorson said...

My dad is famous for making me feel old. Yesterday on the phone he began a story with "There was this young guy-- " and then broke off and said, "Well, actually, he wasn't YOUNG, he was 27 or so" and then continued on.

I'm thinking, "Yes, and I'm ten years older than the guy you just said wasn't young..."

Did you smack those whippersnappers at the bar? Because... ya should've.

Or else pointed out to them that a good vocabulary knows no age range.

Anonymous said...

Hey. I am new here. Just wanted to leave a comment that I have used the word Bizarre and I am 29 going on 30. Maybe it was the enviorment in which I was raised, but whatever the case. Who is that rude kid to question your vocabulary? My generation can be so wierd.

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