Saturday, February 28, 2009

Why You Shouldn't Chaperone a Field Trip With a Hangover


Because while your kid, a Data Officer at the Challenger Space Center, does his job diligently in an effort to land the module on the moon,






there are others...too many others...who can't send and receive messages, and when the Commander steps in to help the Communications Officer once again, (who by the way, is the only kid who can't seem to raise his voice AND the only kid who is required to raise his voice to shout out the messages to the rest of his team) by standing next to him and instructing him to radio the spacecraft and request a resend of the message before last because you need to know the humidity index and he models for the kid:

"This is control room, could you resend the message before last about the humidity."

and the Communications Officer repeats, "This is control room, could you ???"

and the Commander repeats, "Could you RESEND..."

and the Communications Officer says, "Could you resend ???"

and the Commander repeats, "Could you RESEND THE MESSAGE BEFORE LAST..."

and the Communications Officer repeats, "Could you resend the message ???"

and this goes on and on while you frantically search for some Advil in your purse to close down the throbbing in your head,

and this goes on and on while you frantically search for a mint in your purse to pry open your dry mouth,

and this goes on and on while you frantically search for a Xanax in your purse because somebody, probably Teen, stole your Advil and your mints,


and when the message is finally received about the humidity, but the Life Support Officer doesn't hear the message and the whole mission rests on his shoulders, 

you may end up shouting out, 

EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE A MERE AMBASSADOR ALIEN WHO HAS BEEN INSTRUCTED NOT TO HELP THE TEAM, WHO HAS INDEED TAKEN AN OATH NOT TO SAY ANYTHING TO HELP THE TEAM, HAS EVEN BEEN FRICKIN' TRICK-TESTED BY THE COMMANDER ON YOUR ABILITY NOT TO SAY ANYTHING TO HELP THE TEAM DURING THE MISSION,

Where was I?

oh yeah, you may end lifting your head out of your arm and shouting, "You need to get the humidity index!!!!!" 

and the teacher will give you the evil eye with her index finger to her mouth, and you will excuse yourself to go to the restroom and the teacher will say,

"Take your time."



Posted at Humor-Blogs.


Back to Beer and Boobs on Monday








19 comments:

Chris Wood said...

First and smug about it.

Space trips with kids? I have a solution. Let THEM go to space, put your feet up, then blog about beer and boobs.

Damn this is good advice.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Chris - Best reason for getting an iPhone yet.

The Self-Deprechaun said...

It seems like by the end of that day, you needed to have another drink!

papercages said...

I think Chris is right-- put your feet up and blog. Sounds good to me.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Self D-Man - Yes, that and to be grateful I am not a fifth grade teacher.

Papercages - Blogging and drinking. What could be better?

Anna Lefler said...

Oh, bitterness.

Like school field trips aren't ghoulish enough.

Next time I'm bringing my cooler and then I'll have the hangover the *next* morning.

:^) Anna

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Aren't they all aliens anyway?

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Anna - A most excellent idea!

Jen - Methinks student-centered learning is greatly overrated.

for a different kind of girl said...

And you would be so awesome...

Jeff said...

I can see why you were stressed. You stressed me out just describing it. Love the fact the teacher gave you the stink eye. Good stuff.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

FADKOG & Jeff - I wish I would have had my WTF? stamp with me.

April said...

Note to self: do NOT drink on Friday night because you're going on the Getty field trip museum on Saturday to spend WAY too much $$ on overpriced food. But I can drink after, right?

Angry Max said...

I wish he would've just sent the message about the humidity. Now I think I know why they don't put real kids in control of space missions.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

April - Really, with the Getty you might benefit from a few drinks.

Angry MaxMan - I think I now know why men can't ask (or follow) directions.

♥ Braja said...

Well, that's that then, huh? :))

Steph said...

My buddy Kay sent me over here and though I have to say I was expecting something entertaining per her summary of your blog I did not expect a reference to the humidity index! Pure gold! ;)

A Free Man said...

Nice uniforms!
I can't imagine dealing with kids with a hangover full stop, never mind a damn field trip.

Lori Anderson Designs said...

LOL! Oh man, field trips! Right now I've just got a six-year old, but it's like herding cats.

Matt said...

After reading the word "resend" that many times, it started to seem less like a word. I need to go to bed.