there are others...too many others...who can't send and receive messages, and when the Commander steps in to help the Communications Officer once again, (who by the way, is the only kid who can't seem to raise his voice AND the only kid who is required to raise his voice to shout out the messages to the rest of his team) by standing next to him and instructing him to radio the spacecraft and request a resend of the message before last because you need to know the humidity index and he models for the kid:
"This is control room, could you resend the message before last about the humidity."
and the Communications Officer repeats, "This is control room, could you ???"
and the Commander repeats, "Could you RESEND..."
and the Communications Officer says, "Could you resend ???"
and the Commander repeats, "Could you RESEND THE MESSAGE BEFORE LAST..."
and the Communications Officer repeats, "Could you resend the message ???"
and this goes on and on while you frantically search for some Advil in your purse to close down the throbbing in your head,
and this goes on and on while you frantically search for a mint in your purse to pry open your dry mouth,
and this goes on and on while you frantically search for a Xanax in your purse because somebody, probably Teen, stole your Advil and your mints,
and when the message is finally received about the humidity, but the Life Support Officer doesn't hear the message and the whole mission rests on his shoulders,
"This is control room, could you resend the message before last about the humidity."
and the Communications Officer repeats, "This is control room, could you ???"
and the Commander repeats, "Could you RESEND..."
and the Communications Officer says, "Could you resend ???"
and the Commander repeats, "Could you RESEND THE MESSAGE BEFORE LAST..."
and the Communications Officer repeats, "Could you resend the message ???"
and this goes on and on while you frantically search for some Advil in your purse to close down the throbbing in your head,
and this goes on and on while you frantically search for a mint in your purse to pry open your dry mouth,
and this goes on and on while you frantically search for a Xanax in your purse because somebody, probably Teen, stole your Advil and your mints,
and when the message is finally received about the humidity, but the Life Support Officer doesn't hear the message and the whole mission rests on his shoulders,
you may end up shouting out,
EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE A MERE AMBASSADOR ALIEN WHO HAS BEEN INSTRUCTED NOT TO HELP THE TEAM, WHO HAS INDEED TAKEN AN OATH NOT TO SAY ANYTHING TO HELP THE TEAM, HAS EVEN BEEN FRICKIN' TRICK-TESTED BY THE COMMANDER ON YOUR ABILITY NOT TO SAY ANYTHING TO HELP THE TEAM DURING THE MISSION,
Where was I?
oh yeah, you may end lifting your head out of your arm and shouting, "You need to get the humidity index!!!!!"
Where was I?
oh yeah, you may end lifting your head out of your arm and shouting, "You need to get the humidity index!!!!!"
and the teacher will give you the evil eye with her index finger to her mouth, and you will excuse yourself to go to the restroom and the teacher will say,
"Take your time."
"Take your time."
Posted at Humor-Blogs.
Back to Beer and Boobs on Monday
19 comments:
First and smug about it.
Space trips with kids? I have a solution. Let THEM go to space, put your feet up, then blog about beer and boobs.
Damn this is good advice.
Chris - Best reason for getting an iPhone yet.
It seems like by the end of that day, you needed to have another drink!
I think Chris is right-- put your feet up and blog. Sounds good to me.
Self D-Man - Yes, that and to be grateful I am not a fifth grade teacher.
Papercages - Blogging and drinking. What could be better?
Oh, bitterness.
Like school field trips aren't ghoulish enough.
Next time I'm bringing my cooler and then I'll have the hangover the *next* morning.
:^) Anna
Aren't they all aliens anyway?
Anna - A most excellent idea!
Jen - Methinks student-centered learning is greatly overrated.
And you would be so awesome...
I can see why you were stressed. You stressed me out just describing it. Love the fact the teacher gave you the stink eye. Good stuff.
FADKOG & Jeff - I wish I would have had my WTF? stamp with me.
Note to self: do NOT drink on Friday night because you're going on the Getty field trip museum on Saturday to spend WAY too much $$ on overpriced food. But I can drink after, right?
I wish he would've just sent the message about the humidity. Now I think I know why they don't put real kids in control of space missions.
April - Really, with the Getty you might benefit from a few drinks.
Angry MaxMan - I think I now know why men can't ask (or follow) directions.
Well, that's that then, huh? :))
My buddy Kay sent me over here and though I have to say I was expecting something entertaining per her summary of your blog I did not expect a reference to the humidity index! Pure gold! ;)
Nice uniforms!
I can't imagine dealing with kids with a hangover full stop, never mind a damn field trip.
LOL! Oh man, field trips! Right now I've just got a six-year old, but it's like herding cats.
After reading the word "resend" that many times, it started to seem less like a word. I need to go to bed.
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