Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Why Are You Discriminating Against Me?

Dear Men Seeking Women on Craig’s List,

What is up?

I am not a Big Black Woman. This is 2008. Does that really matter?

I’m not a Thick Goddess, a Muscular Aggressive Woman, a 34 D, a Sexy Athletic 21 year-old or a Submissive Lover.

I am not Bi-Curious or Poly Amorous or into Ageplay.

I am not a Sexual Nudist.

I am not a College Cutie looking to have fun in Florida. I am not willing to spend the week in Cincinnati or to relocate to Wisconsin. I am not a Pentecostal Spirit-Filled Woman. I am not Hawaiian. I am not a Dental Assistant with Access to Nitrous Oxide. I do not have Herpes.

And I sure as hell am not a Lactating Woman nor do I wish to role play one.





And to you Mr. Goofy Creative Person who Comes Up With Corny TV Ads: Having the actress Reese Witherspoon hold a large spoon and say, “How do you eat your Reeses? Witherspoon!” is lame.

Whatever happened to long walks on the beach?


If I'm looking for Goofy Creative People, I check out Humor-Blogs.

14 comments:

Chris Wood said...

Clearly they don't have a category for you - just as well, the best people never fit them.

And that ad is so incredibly pathetic.

Bulldog said...

you're obviously an overly-intraspective extrovert, with a possible tendency toward obsesive compulsiveness, you poor dear.

Sabrae said...

Never seen the Reese Witherspoon ad... hmm and craigslist??? I only post things on there that I'm trying to sell! lol

unfinishedrambler said...

Is that last one a real commercial? ;) I like that one. Witherspoon. I'll be laughing about that for days. No, really. If my wife were home, I'd be repeating it to all weekend. Luckily, she's away for a few days.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

So, what are you saying? I should call him?

Last Place Finisher said...

Yes but if you're intelligent and communicative you're intimidating us. There's comfort in a dull, sparkly eyed woman named Bambi. We don't need to worry about clever conversation. It provides the cover we need to hide our own shallowness.

Heinous said...

Maybe we should all go into ad work. They seem to need a de-crapification.

Dave said...

Seems like Craiglist is not the place.

Jenn Thorson said...

I like Chris' philosophy above.

If you can describe yourself in words small enough to headline and ad, maybe you need to be out doing some more interesting things. :)

Anonymous said...

Sick of aimlessly surfing the net for funny vids & pics? sick for checking out hot babes but getting pop ups like mad? Try going to thedrunkcanuck.com. We update our hot babes all the time and you can't find funny posts like ours anywhere else.

Go to thedrunkcanuck.com today!

Chat Blanc said...

the thing I like about the craig's list ads is they make me seem really super NORMAL! :D I loves that.

Anndi said...

Anonymous is giving us Canucks a bad name.

Matt said...

If I even post a "for-sale" ad on craigslist, I get all kinds of solicitations to the ad.

Who woulda thunk that by submitting an ad to sell a coffee table on craigslist would be tantamount to signing up for a porn e-mail list?

rusty said...

Craigslist is where the sickos congregate, myself included, but only to report the goings on of the said sickos in the personal ad posts lmao!