Friday, September 19, 2008

Toronto Story Part II

Disclaimer: Toronto Story Part II may not live up to part I. I mean, what could be more fun than having an immigration officer interrogating you and chatting you up at the same time?

Back to Jewish Dancer Dude, my college friend (ex lover if you were paying attention). He’s one cool guy who’s made his living as a dancer with Toronto’s premiere dance companies without having to wait tables. Although, he did do a brief stint as a film extra--if you see any movies with SWAT teams, look for him. You have to have a special certification to do that, you know.

Disclaimer #2: I feel badly about mentioning the ex-lover thing. Just pretend you never read that.

Anyway, get this. As a dance instructor, he’s had this Canadian actress in class:

Neve Campbell.

For those of you who live in Russia, Neve used to be engaged to My John Cusack. How’s that for stalking twice removed?

And for those of you who think Neve is sexier than this woman:

and want to see more of her, Neve--not Steffi--google her images. There's even one with her kissing a topless Denise Richards.

Anyway, Dancer Dude is married to Opera Singer Woman. Once I got over the fact that she is younger and hotter than me, I was cool with it.

Opera Singer has performed with the Canadian Opera Company, aka COC. Seriously.

Now she’s with the Iseler Singers, a professional 20- voice chamber choir. And a featured soloist, no less.

I can personally vouch for her voice—getting onto an elevator with a young woman on her way to a bat mitzvah, we all broke into Hava Nagila, including 3-year old Lucas, their son.

Yep, 3-year old Lucas, who when he isn’t singing Hebrew folk songs, does a mean guitar impression of Smoke on the Water.

Bored yet?

BTW, did I tell you I ran into Nicholas Cage going into the club I was coming out of?

OK. OK. That was a few years ago at the festival. Before Lucas. Days when Dancer Dude and Opera Singer Woman and I would barhop and afterpary till 4:00 in the morning.

Afterparty as a verb. I made that up.

So now with a toddler around, Dancer Dude is back in school studying to be an Osetopath. That’s an MD Lite.

And in his spare time he’s a Chauffeur Guy. And guess who Chauffeur Guy drove around for five days last week:

And guess which buddy of Adrien Brody’s also rode in the car on the way to a bar:

And for those of you from Russia, I love Mark Ruffalo almost as much as I love John Cusack.

I also love bars.

Chauffeur Guy doesn’t steer and tell, but he did say that Brody is engaged (he won’t say to whom) and that Ruffalo is very green, usually escorted around in a hybrid vehicle.

In short, because my very cool friends are very busy I usually have to film it alone. Film it--made that one up too. Afterwards, I wait at a bar for Chauffeur Guy to drop off his last client and pick me up.

Which is how I met the Iranian, the guy from Northern Ireland, a Chinese-Canadian oil guy who claims we have enough reserves to last forever, and a short Italian man who does wait tables.

What can I say? I can't help it other woman don't sit at bars alone.

Disclaimer #3: Lest you get the wrong idea, I totally respect Mark Ruffalo for his mind. And about the beer, well, I really don't drink that much.

OK I do. But I don't drink and drive. Chauffeur Guy drives. And no offense to Russians or short Italian waiters. I love vodka and red wine, too.

Bored yet?

I am. So I'll continue this story in Part III: Films and Famous People.

Meanwhile, give a still hungover blogger a smiley at Humor-Blogs.


Chris Wood said...

Let me get this clear. You used to date a guy who had Neve Campbell in his class but now lives with a woman who sings with COC, Neve used to be engaged to your no. 1 crush, you once saw Nic Cage coming out of a club and Mark Ruffalo has a great mind that you lust after.

Oh, and bars rock.

I THINK I've got all that.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know that about having to have a special certification to be a SWAT team extra. By the way, I loved the TV show SWAT. The movie was all right, which was your ex(tra) in? But the TV show was even better (was he in that too? Or was he in the Blues Brothers; speaking of SWAT team scenes, one of the best).

Anyhow,about the Iranian, the guy from Northern Ireland, the Chinese-Canadian oil guy and the short Italian man. Hope DHS wasn't up there in Canada getting your photo, although you're probably now on their list anyway, just for mentioning that meeting. Sounds suspicious to me too. ;)

Meg said...

Chris - You got it. Which proves you can hold your liquor better than I can.

Unfin... - You're probably right. But did you notice I left out the Romanian? From a former communist country?

But just to stick it to the man, who will hopefully never be a Hockey Mom from Alaska, I might have to add Billy Bragg's Whose Side Are You On? to my playlist.

Anndi said...

All I could read was... blah blah... John Cusack... blah blah... John Cusack ... blah blah ... beer... vodka... wine.... blah blah

for a different kind of girl said...

You know what? If you flip between their pictures fast, Neve Campbell and Adrian Brody sort of look alike!

Meg said...

Anndi - I know. It's a curse. Love your new pic!

DKofG - I did that and actually laughed out loud. I never laugh out loud. Even when I type, LOL, I'm not really laughing out loud.

Good one.

Does that mean you didn't read my brilliant story? Because if that's the case, I'll go back to having my playlist on automatic.

M.G. Helm IV said...

Jealous I wanna see that show, I haven't seen Wilco in concert yet! Ok, I'm off to Google Steffi now.

Immoral Matriarch said...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Adrien Brody. Mmmmmm.

Chat Blanc said...

damn girl!! you go to the best bars with the best people who know the best stars and you meet the most interesting men at the most interesting film festivals. . . gawd my life sucks. but yay for you having a fabulous time! :D

JT said...

What Chris Wood said, lol. He pretty much pegged it. And I am currently drinking, so he can hold it better then I can to :P.

Anonymous said...

Hi Meg...Glad to hear your pilmgrimage to Toronto was again successful and your fantasy life has been sufficiently refueled to get you through the next six months. Sandra in the ATL

Meg said...

MG - We Wilco fans need to stick together in this bloggy Wilcoless world.

Maria - Ditto.

Chat Blanc - Do come with next time. Really.

JT - I know. The guy's so together. He even has an accent.

Sandra - You can my stalking stringer in ATL. And it took me forever to figure out ATL.

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Mark Ruffalo=much-more-exciting-than-Adrien-Brody.

Adrien Brody=good-but-creepy-actor-who-shouldn't-have-grabbed-Halle-Berry.

I wonder if he'll ever live it down? I know I can't see him without getting that image.