Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Traveling With Kids Increases Alcohol Consumption

You already knew that. But really, creativity while traveling is overrated AND A PAIN IN THE BEHIND.

While we’re crossing the Mojave Desert, my kids can’t play GameBoys like other kids. No, they waste precious hours by videotaping. My daughter turns the camera on herself and lipsyncs while her brothers belt out “This Land is Your Land.” After making a mockery of Woody Guthrie, they sing every song that Simple Plan ever recorded. And then Greenday.

And do you think that just once they could look out the window and enjoy the barren landscape. Not our kids. They’re more interested in making bets on how high the temperature will climb. And then they take snapshots of each and every change.



Spending time at a friend’s house proves to be an equal disaster. Instead of staying out of our way by watching TV, the kids insist on picking fruit from the trees in the yard and killing two hours making fresh orange juice, grapefruit juice and lemonade.



When it comes time to clean up, they disappear to the pool where they each toss in their shoes to see whose will make it across the water the fastest. I mean, think of the money we wasted on iPods!!!



And stopping in a restaurant is no better. They can’t be content to do the word scramble on the placemat. Not them. First, they must sample every form of artificial sweetener on the table and then, after discovering a fun poster in the bathroom, they take turns running in and out reporting on the effects of beer.



Mom, did you know beer plus a sad face makes you happy and cross-eyed? Mom, did you know beer plus a fat woman makes you see a thin woman? Mom, did you know that....

Very interesting, I interrupt. But kids, did you know that beer plus noisy children makes you drink more beer? So run over there and get me the waiter! Pronto!

For more on beer, GameBoys and lemonade, check out Humor-Blogs.

16 comments:

Holy Crappers said...

I'll drink to that!!

#1

Sue said...

OMG! Did they ask about the beer + sheep one??????????????

gaining some lb's said...

I seriously love that sign!!!


peace
#2

Alice said...

I NEED that beer poster.

Lilacspecs said...

You mean to say that your kids are energetic, imaginative and creative thereby making electronic, brain sucking Game Boys inneffective for entertaining them? But that means you're doing something right.
Right?

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

You're home, right? Right? Man, I'd be exhausted from your vacay...

I wrote on my blog, but thank so much for the invite! I'd LOVE to come, but I'll be driving C back from camp.

Sigh. We'll have to do this another way, soon.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

There must be something wrong with my ears cuz I could swear that I heard you say that your kids are capable of entertaining themselves without the aid of expensive props.

Sarah♥ said...

Haha-- Actually-- I was thinkin your weekend sounded alot worse.

Im never reproducing.

hehe.

Jen said...

Good for them for making their own fun! I say toss the gameboys and ipods out into the desert and never look back!

Hey It's Di said...

My kids are NOT creative at all. They need a movie playing, an Ipod or a Gameboy to be happy! We took a 12 hour trip to California last year and I swear my 5 year old didn't even sleep a wink on the ride there and back! What is up with that? Give me a vehicle and a looooooong drive and it's a given for me:)

Rick said...

Your children are apparently the kind that don't need "advanced tech." to entertain themselves. I think that cool.

http://organizeddoodles.blogspot.com/

Leanne said...

Cheers!

My kids have been off school for three FULL days now, that means i need three drinks.

The end of the sumer should be interesting.

Mary said...

Here's to ya!

I just traveled with my kids too. 2 teens, one with a boyfriend on her arm, one 2 yr old, and a golden retriever. Plus me and my hubby. We drove 18 hrs one directions, spent a few days in BFE, then drove 18 hrs home. No stopping! except for gas.

I need a drink!

www.restlesshousewife.com said...

Your kids sound hilarious and too smart for their own good - or yours! The beer thing was awesome.

Manager Mom said...

I saw a greeting card once that said, "Wine makes mommy clever."

I'm raising my glass of clever to you right now, a month before our family trip...

Bethanie said...

Ah, Ms. Six and Ms. Baby are very much like your kids... which is why we're NOT making the 24 hour drive between Hell and New England this summer... :-S

[qwoapqge - that has got to be the longest word vert I've ever, ever seen...]