Saturday, June 7, 2008

Family Vacation, an Oxymoron

Meltdown #1 -- We are walking along the Pacific to Venice Beach and Ten-Year Old has one thing on his mind: chicken wings.

Meltdown #2 -- Teenage Son needs his caffeine fix and he needs it now!!!!

Meltdown #3 -- We find a place with wings and Dr. Pepper, but Vegetarian Daughter cannot eat the fries we agreed to share because, OMG, they are on a plate with a dead animal.

Meltdown #4 -- Ten-Year Old wants to return to the hotel and play Webkinz on the computer.

Meltdown #5 -- Vegetarian-But-Non-Vegan-Daughter needs ice cream and she needs it now!!!

Meltdown # 6 -- Teenager wants to know why we can't give him money so he can wander by himself and buy Bob Marley accessories.

Meltdown # 7 -- Webkinz, ice cream, Rastafarian! Now!

Repeat. Every. Minute.

At very loud volume.

With random walk stoppages.

Meltdown #8 -- Husband says I am to blame for spoiling our children and therefore he won't be going with us to Universal Studios tomorrow.

Meltdown #9 -- There is no meltdown #9 because after we get back to the hotel, I take a Xanax and go to bed.


For more meltdowns, check out Humor-Blogs.

16 comments:

jt said...

LOL! That sounds like every time I leave the house with my children. Which I try very hard not to do these days!

Tina said...

Oh, boy, does that bring back memories...thanks for the chuckle!

Rph Mommy said...

Oh God. That gives me something to look forward too. Which is worse teenagers or toddlers?

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Hope Day 2 goes better. I think I'm glad that DS still has a week of exams.

CableGirl said...

You make me fear for my future... lol


And what the hell is a Webkinz?

Alice said...

Here's my favorite line you may need to throw around - "Do you need a smack in the head?" Then take a Xanax.

Sarah♥ said...

Haha.
Xanax.

So good.

Formerly Fun said...

You have to take the Xanax at the beginning of the day.

ksd said...

Sounds like loads of fun. Didn't Universal go up in smoke recently? Hope you packed planty of Xanax.

JD at I Do Things said...

Xanax: NOW!

Exactly what sort of Bob Marley stuff did your teenage son want to buy, anyway?

JD at I Do Things

Jen said...

Omg, that is so funny. We surprised our kids with a Disney cruise and my daughter started crying because she wouldn't be able to play on her webkinz. I could have killed her.

www.restlesshousewife.com said...

Geezus. What a nightmare.

Now, how do I get me some of that ther' Xanax?!

Ms Picket To You said...

i am sending Jeff Tweedy stat.

Lola said...

No kidding...I find it best now to vacation separately from the children, oh, and the husband as well. Lends itself to a much more pleasant vacation.

I remember when my kids were little, friends with older kids would say, little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems.

You have no idea until you have teens. Just plain old annoying problems.

Happy2bme said...

LOL!! That is a hysterical post!

Sully Sullivan said...

Best form of birth control: reading mom blogs. You guys sure make it tough for anyone to want to have kids. Good luck on that vacation.

I'm a fan of effective birth control so I have bookmarked this site and will be returning for regular doses. Check out my pop culture comedy blog if you ever need a laugh break from the monsters.