Teen and Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll

What was I thinking taking Teen to the Virgin Music Fest? I know what I was thinking: Jeff Tweedy.

What I wasn’t thinking was how to explain the zonked out woman the ambulance was taking away.

Ah, it’s clearly sunstroke, I said. Way too hot out here.

Or...ooh, ooh that smell, the smell that surrounds us.

Patchouli Oil, I said. All these tye dyers wear it.

But isn’t it coming from those funny-looking cigarettes being passed around? Teen asked.

Cloves, I replied. All these Rastas smoke them.



Yes, I know, I need to have the drug talk with Teen soon.

BUT I WASN'T GOING TO EXPLAIN IT WHILE WE BOTH WE'RE UNDER A CONTACT HIGH.

And then there was this drunk-out-of-his mind dude:



He’s obviously ‘special’, I said.

In fact, it seemed all the folks there were 'special" as evidenced by their use of these porta-potties:



They were the first ever I’d seen full to the rim and over-flown, with drunk high hippie-rasta folks continuing to use them without a care in the world.

I hadn’t seen so many wasted people since a Russian-Polish wedding.

OK. OK. It was an Irish wake.

Still…$95.00 bucks a ticket and you’re passed out before the main acts.

OK. OK. The slam dancers were definitely not passed out.

I mean, it’s not that Teen hasn’t been to concerts before.

I believe in raising a kid right.

Meaning he’s got to know that Neil Young is great and that Neil Diamond sucks.
That Pink Floyd is great and that Pink sucks.
That John Lennon is great and that John Mayer, is well, mediocre.

Yes, teen has seen Neil Young, Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones, and against his classic rock will, Black 47 and Wilco.

The difference between those events and this one is --that the folks at the former venues were actually there to hear the music!!

At any rate, Teen and I were there to hear Wilco again.

OK. OK. Teen did want to sneak over to the other stage to catch Chuck Berry. But like I said, I believe in raising a kid right. He would not be Wilcoless.

So we ‘excuse me’, ‘excuse us’, ‘be careful your cigarette is burning my arm-ed’ our way to the front of the crowd.

We were not disappointed.




Wilco was Wilcoful.

And after, Teen was excited to see Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters.

But Teen knows that Dave Matthews is great and Dave Grohl is, well...

OK. OK. they’re both ah...all right. Grohl can drop the F-bomb, spit into the audience and whirl his hair around with the best of them.

All in all, despite the hopped up people, the herbs, the overflowing porta-potties, and this Jägermeister dude:



It was a good time. A mom and son bonding time.




And speaking of bonding...

I’d like to thank Restless Housewife Rambling for this most excellent award.



I am honored and therefore will bestow (I always wanted to use that word) to the following:

1) Jen at Daily Mish Mash, my sista in stalking.

2) Suzie at Up The Hill Backwards, my sista in education.

3) Unfinished Dude at Unfinished Rambling(s) who next to his Wife , his Sister, and Diesel, Brent, Damon, Lobo and all my female friends is my favorite blogger.

Seriously, for a Catholic, the guy blogs funny. He doesn’t drop the F-bomb or make fun of people like a lot of other Humor-Bloggers.

OK. OK. He doesn’t drop the F-bomb anyway.



And Neil Diamond fans, no hate mail please. Been there. Done that.

OK. OK. It was those gunsling Charlton Heston fans. But still….

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Stalking Once Removed

While spending a week at Rehoboth beach I bribed my kids to be on the lookout for Jeff Tweedy of Wilco. Be assured they all know what he looks like--every time they open my laptop they are forced to see his beautiful face.



You see, in a few days Tweedy would be performing at the Virgin Music Festival in Baltimore. It seemed likely he might put in some family time at the shore. I mean, wouldn't you knowing what you know about Rehoboth?



Whilst you think this is another one of Meg’s far-fetched notions—yes, Meg has a lot of them--this is who Teen saw in Funland on the Rehoboth boardwalk:



Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters, who was also scheduled for the Virgin Fest. Grohl was spotted, says Teen with a very small boy.

Me the Mom Who Never Lets a Learning Opportunity Escape: Small boy. Ha! See what happens to your children when you lead a life of drugs and debauchery.

Smarta*s Teen: It could be that the kid was small because he was two-years old.



Anyway, no luck with Tweedy.

Clearly as a stalker I SUCK big time. Meaning I have to resort to Stalking Once Removed.

Here is a guy Sister-in-Law The Busy-Body saw on a film location near her small town:




Sister-in-Law The Prudish Critical Busy-Body: Clooney is much smaller in real life and doesn't hold much interest to me anymore.

Me The Healthy Female: But is he small where it counts?


Here is a guy who Dancer Turned Chauffer Driver Friend shuttled around in Toronto:



It's Gael Garcia Bernal, star of Babel and The Motorcycle Diaries and the sexist, I MEAN SEXYIST, where are you Editor Lady when I need you, guy on Earth (except for Tweedy).


Chauffeur Guy: There were about 20 Mexicans in the limo with Bernal all drinking some funky alcohol tequila concoction.

Me The Non-Judgemental: And you didn't call me?



Here is a singer that Sister-in-Law The Show Off’s Brother’s family begged to pose with them.

Yes, I am so pathetic that I Stalk Twice Removed. I do not know these people, in fact, I hardly know Fergie:



Me The Cultural Bafoon: Isn't Fergie that Weight Watcher Princess Lady? She looks pretty good.

Sister-in-Law The Prudish Accountant: How many have you had?


Of course, I didn’t always suck. When I was younger my friend and I saw THIS GUY through a restaurant window in Toronto. We waited and waited and were finally rewarded.



Me the Excited Healthy Teen: I can't believe we recognized him without his makeup.

My Mom Who Loves To Rub Stuff In: I can't believe you made me go up and ask to take his picture.


But I'm going back to Toronto this September for the Toronto International Film Festival. Anyone along the way is welcome to stalk with me or at least meet me for a drink or three.

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STAYED TUNED: MEG AND SMARTA*S TEEN DO THE VIRGIN MUSIC FESTIVAL