Saturday, June 21, 2008

Stalking in Malibu

is not easy with loudmouth kids.

"There! In the sunglasses!" my son shrieks. "Is that John Cusack?"
"Not unless he's gained 80 pounds," I try to shish him.
"That woman, there..." my daughter points, "is that Britney and her kids."
"How many times do I have tell you," I push her finger down. "If you see Britney, she won't be with her kids."
"That Corvette. Five 'o clock. Is that Will Smith?" my teen yells.
"Will Smith is black," I whisper. "And not a senior citizen."

We go to Nobu's. Nobu's is closed. We go to Starbucks. Starbucks is empty. The closest we get to any movies stars is the waitress at Paradise Cove who has personally waited on Brad and Angelina before they opened their orphanage.

And as we drive one of the canyon roads, we're pretty sure we see Mel Gibson's garbage cans and John Cusack's gardener. Or John Cusack's garbage cans and Mel Gibson's gardener. Or maybe it was Britney's gardener. Or maybe her new boyfriend. We're not sure.

Anyway....a few days earlier I am told I look like a movie star.

Coming down the escalator at Universal Studios, I am filmed by the Tonight Show crew. I sign a release that my five seconds can be used for a segment on people who look like famous people (or their gardeners).

"Who do I look like?" I prod the young producers.
"Oh, we don't decide. The writers will decide."
"When I was younger," I tell them. "People thought I looked like Meg Ryan."
"No not Meg," a hot guy says. "More like Susan Sarandon."
"Susan Sarandon!" I protest. "You're aging me."
"Dude," a young woman tries to console me. "She's got Tim Robbins."

Tim Robbins? Ummm. OK.

But I'm pretty sure Susan Sarandon doesn't tape her sunglasses together. What do you think?

For more people who look like people, check out Humor-Blogs.


April said...

I see the resemblance! And Susan would tape her glasses if we could convince her it was good for the environment or something :)

Alice said...

I'd be flattered to be compared with Susan Sarandon. Don't even want to know what I would have been compared to.

Restless Ink said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Restless Ink said...

OH MY GAWD - that is a friggin' hilARious post!!! and by the way, you're SO lucky to be compared to Susan Sarandon. I'd also be completely flattered to be compared to her!

ML said...

We put your picture in the hollywood face finder and good news! It said you looked like Halle Berry and Rosanna Arquette, bad news: Jeff Goldblum and Mr. T.

Jen said...

But just think... if Susan Sarandon DID tape her sunglasses together what a great disguise that would be!

Welcome home.

JD at I Do Things said...

I see the resemblance---and it IS a compliment.

JD at I Do Things

MsPicketToYou said...

that is totally JEFF TWEEDY!!!

ksd said...

I think you should change your name to Susan the resemblence is so striking!

robkroese said...

Wait, so they filmed you because you look like a celebrity, but they don't get to decide which one? Somehow that seems like a flawed system.

Anonymous said...

YouTube? My husband has barely figured out email or he'd be doing the same, I'm sure. Thanks for commenting. Love your blog! I can def. see the resemblance to Susan Sarandon, btw. Lucky you!

Ashley. Unscripted... said...

I see the resemblance!

Happy2bme said...

I agree you do look like Susan Sarandon. Its a compliment.

MarĂ­a said...

Gooooddddd I want some grapefruit. Really badly. LOL

Anonymous said...

I see Geena Davis.

I was told I looked like Sarah McLachlan...yeah whatever.....

Good luck on your fame!!!


Anonymous said...

I'm was still cracking up about the Britney and Will Smith comments when you had to show your taped glasses. This post was HILARIOUS!!

And yes, you do look like S.S.--that is a good thing.

Sorry you didn't see Cusack. :(

Karen MEG said...

Your taped glasses are very hot, really they are!!

Susan Sarandon is not a bad look-alike. Sure she's a bit older, but she looks absolutely,fabulous, at least ten years younger than she is; and so, so very sexy!

This was a hilarious post.

Anonymous said...

i susan sons should fuck his hoooooooootttt mom