Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Just What The Doctor Ordered--A Bit of Celebrity Stalking

So I'm ready to move on from my Midlife Misery/Skinny Jeans dilemma. At least for the time being.

And nothing moves me faster than a bit of rock star stalking. My victim is this guy:

Brian Vander Ark of the Verve Pipe. Remember him?

His song The Freshman was a hit in the early nineties, or so I was told (by a barfull of people, no less). I had never heard the song because The Snob In Me refuses to listen radio stations that play hits. And even if I happened to hear a hit song and liked it, The Inner Snob of The Snob In Me wouldn't admit that I liked it.

But sometimes The Inner Snob comes back and bites me in the place where my control-top panties work the hardest.

Years ago, I heard Brian play this unbeknownst-to-me hit at a local Irish Pub and exclaimed in a slightly loud and animated way as Meg tends to do when after sitting in an Irish Pub for more than three drinks to everyone in the room how much I loved Brian and the song. It was then I was informed of its stellar status by a rowdy group of this One-Hit-Wonderful-Singer's fans.  

What could I do then? I was outed.

The lyrics are about Brian's ex-girlfriend getting an abortion

and taking an overdoes of drugs 

and dying. 

And you can order the ringtone here!!!

But really, the dying part isn't true.  How do I know this? Because Brian and I are very close. 

At least in my fantasy life.

Remember this refrain:

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

According to Songfacts.com Brian says, "I had rented the movie The Freshmen with Marlon Brando and Matthew Broderick, and the case was just sitting there the next morning and I found myself staring at it. Then I realized that we are all freshmen at some point in our life - why not write a song for all of us?"

Indeed it is a song for all of us. 

At least here in my town. You see, here we have an unofficial Brian Vander Ark fan club, headed by two guys, let's call them Bill and Al, who work to bring Brian to town on a regular basis. Why these two married guys are so obsessed with Brian is better left to their wives to ponder and not me. And so I've had the pleasure of seeing him perform many times in an intimate setting, although not as intimate as I would like, of course.

When I first saw Brian he looked like this: 

and was accompanied by a whiskey bottle.  

But at some point, he stopped being a Freshman, and after a few years, he looked more like this: 

and was accompanied by a wife (younger than me, damn it) and child.

Anyway, after years of fantasizing about listening to Brian sing his heart out--and he does sing his heart out, I was determined to finally meet him and snap a photo at last week's concert. But how to approach him?

I could tell him that I'm a Nobel Prize for Awesomeness award-winning blogger. But I really hate to use my power and position for self-gratification.

I could tell him I'm friends with the infamous Bill and Al. But I'm sure a guy who actually did return home again (to Grand Rapids, Michigan) wouldn't think highly of name-dropping-hanger-on-er.

I could tell him that I'm a song writer, too. Or that I would be if I put my award-winning Guiness Toast to music.

Then Teen put in his four-dollar-coffee-drink's worth of cents in, cause that's what teen do best, and said, Why don't you just introduce yourself and ask for a photo? 

And wouldn't you know it, it worked:

Guys.  I F-ing hate it that they look better with age.


Here's a great a capella version of The Freshman NOT TO BE MISSED.  REALLY.  And if you have any doubt to this song's stellar status, watch for it on an upcoming episode of American Idol.  Of course The Snob In Me won't watch American Idol, but do let me know how folks butcher it, please.

More one-hit wonders at Humor-Blogs.
STAY TUNED: Another Attempt at Stalking Tweedy.


Jeff said...

Way cool. You're really bustin your buttons in that picture eh?

Great video. It appears my mentorship has helped him.

Anonymous said...

So jealous. I love that song. Way cooler than Jeff Tweedy. ;) Kidding, kidding, please still speak to me.

Chris Wood said...

Well, he's not having the NP for A.

Sorry. I have spoken.

A Free Man said...

Christ, the Verve Pipe? That goes back a long way. Never was a fan, it was all a bit melllllloooooodrrrrrrammmattttticcccc. But hey, goodonya!

Cat said...

I used to be a huge music snob, but I've toned it down some in my middle age because I realized sometimes there's a reason a song is a hit. It might just be because it is great.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Wow! A mention of celebrity stalking and the guys come out of nowhere.

Jeff - I'm wearing a coat--which is why I look fat. And don't worry, he can't hold a note to your harmonica.

Unfinished Dude - No worries. But you'd have a hard time doing your funky dance to either.

Chris - ???? Since I'm no longer young, could you please translate.

A Free Man - So I guess I won't be seeing this one on any of your lists, eh?

Cat - Agreed. Which is why I love "Black Dog."

Jeff said...

Wha?!... I did NOT say you looked fat. I was referring to the fact you look super proud.

Women. Sheesh.

JD at I Do Things said...

I don't remember the song OR the band, but Old Brian is HOT and I love him 4-ever! Seriously! OK, I'm gonna watch the video. Maybe the song will be familiar. Any videos of Old Brian. (I heart Old Brian).

for a different kind of girl said...

That's a downright handsome man right there. And you? You are le hot!

I love when that song pops up in shuffle mode. It is never a skip over. My heart, alas, weeps that it will be mauled over at AI.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Jeff - It wasn't so much a proud look as I was trying not to close my eyes at the flash. And I had to leave the glasses on to cover the bags.

JD - Yes, he is HOT. And he's available for house parties.

FADKOG - Me, le hot? I know I've told you before, but I think I love you.

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

I am so glad you found my blog so I could stumble over here into the hilarity. Your tagline to your title got me laughing immediately. And, girlfriend, my control-tops are working overtime (when I deign to wear them, because MY inner snob says that controltops are for fatties....hot girls wear Spanks.)

Great job stalking the one hit wonder. He used to look like Billy Cyrus .... and HE is lucky you'd have your pic taken with him!

Pearl said...

Oh, I loved that song. It came out about the time I was getting over/wallowing in a dramatic break-up and managed to apply the lyrics -- despite their real meaning! -- to my life. Daily.

I'm jealous.


Doug at Taunt Vortex said...

You're lookin' about 29 in that photo. Coincidence? I think not.

Brian is sort of...well...um...let's just say that I wouldn't mind having my picture taken with him.


Chas said...

I could use some pointers on Celebrity stalking. Jason Mraz will be in town in a couple of weeks, and I've been daydreaming about ways to ensure a 'chance' meeting...

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Amy - Spanks? Thanks I'll check them out.

Pearl - Well, I guess the theme of the song is that we're all Freshmen at some point--we all make mistakes. So really, it's the perfect song to wallow to.

Doug - Thanks. There's a reason you made my list of bloggy crushes.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Chas - There must be a website somewhere where you can make your own press pass. Please let me know if you find it. ASAP!

The Self-Deprechaun said...

I love and loved this song. It played on repeat many a times. That's so cool that you met him and I remember trying to find the meaning in it just like Ben Fold's Brick. Great post!

KiKi said...

Cool post...loved that song!

Father Muskrat said...

I sorta agree with Chris (FreeMan) but did like that song. It doesn't seem that old to me, though, since I pretty much only listen to XM 80s and 90s.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Self D-Man - If you have some spare time check out songmeanings(dot)net. Some hysterical interpretations to lyrics posted are posted there.

Kiki - Thanks. I agree.

Father M - Now that you've won all those CDs from Chris, I hope that's changing. If not, send them my way.

Tracey said...

You crack me up so much that I lose track of what the post was originally about....

Anna Lefler said...

Niiiice. How *do* they get tastier with age, by the way? No fair.

Great pic!

:^) Anna

Suzie said...

He's cute

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Tracey - Thanks. So do I, but I think it has to do with my losing so many brain cells.

Anna - Damn right. Well, at least we live longer, eh?

Suzie - Cute works. Gorgeous is better!

bernthis said...

finally, a singer that can really sing and just so happens to be totally hot and you are right, men do age well, f**ers!

NannyGarcia said...

I'm freaking THE FUCK out!!!!! My sister and I used to be OBSESSED with The Verve Pipe and were convinced we were the only ones. We used to write them fan mail, etc. We own all of their CDs too.

Gosh, I'm so excited you love them too.

PS - my word verification is cringe.

Restless Housewife said...

Wow - you're like totally like FAMOUS! He looks like he's totally in love w/you and thinking "I'd much rather be w/her than this immature little twat that I'm married to."

OHmommy said...

OMG... you are SO right. He does look better aged. You are one up on me on the coolness ladder. VERY cool.

Deb said...

So now that you are with what's his name, can I please have John Cusack?

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

BernBaby - The guy's vocal range is amazing. And so is the passion he puts in it.

Nancy G - Check out his website. He tours a lot and is great to see in small venues.

Restless H - Damn straight!

OHMommy - Just wait. When your kids are old enough to be left sitting in front of the Xbox on Saturday nights, you'll get out and about.

Deb - Sorry. But NO WAY IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ms Picket To You said...

sad thing, i had no idea that's what that song was about.

meg -- jeff tweedy is so so so your next victim. tell him i say hi.

TwoBusy said...

The Nobel Prizes have become so much more fun since they added categories like "Awesomeness" and "Great Hair."

VE said...

Wait...is your hand grabbing his butt? I knew it...